Roommates Diary II Double Date In Hell
by ficeler37
Summary: [Shiznat] Picks up right after Roommates Diary I. Watch out for the return of the Eto brothers! Expect the usual fluff.
1. Lunch Madness

**Title**: Roommates Diary II - Double Date In Hell (Part I)  
**Author**: ficeler37  
**Note**: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.  
**Rating**: PG  
**Word count**: 1345

**Summary**: Shizuru and Natsuki are now roommates, but they seem to be stuck at that "better than friends but not yet lovers" stage. Will there be any breakthroughs in their relationship in the near future? (Oh my god, that sounds so cheesy. I'm not very good with summaries. So just bare with me.) In this chapter, Natsuki, Mai, and Mikoto are having lunch in Fuka High school. (If you want to read something interesting, just skip the summary.)

**A/N **: I'm actually going to attempt to write something with a plot this time. Hopefully I won't fail too horribly. Same old style - fluff plus comedy equals ficeler37's fic. I'll try to do some more omakes this time around. Happy belated New Year!

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A week has passed since Natsuki and Shizuru moved in together. Many things happened during the short amount of time. Mostly good things from Shizuru's point of view, but also some unforgettable moments that both girls would prefer never to live through again. To the curious ones out there, let's just say that Natsuki is forever banned from her own kitchen. But no matter what bizarre events are thrown at the two girls, in the end they always manage to move on with a smile. Who cares if half the kitchen is coal black? Who cares if they were sent to the hospital for two days battling food poisoning? As long as they are together, they can face anything. But will their happy days as roommates last forever?

At the sound of the lunch bell in Fuka High School, Kuga Natsuki takes out her bento from her backpack and steps out of her classroom, heading towards her usual meeting place with Mai and Mikoto. As soon as the sound of her footsteps disappears from the hallway, quiet murmurings begin to surface in the student-filled room.

"Hey, have you noticed that Kuga-san has been preparing her own lunch for the past week?" "Yea, I know. That's so weird. Anyone who shares home economics class with her knows that she can't cook." "Well, maybe she took some cooking lessons over the weekend." "Oh my god, maybe she moved in with someone who cooks!" (Short pause) "C'mon, that's not possible. Kuga-san is our ice princess." "Haha, you're right. Who can tame someone like her?"

"Achoo." Natsuki sneezes suddenly as she leans on a cherry blossom tree, waiting for her orange-haired busty friend and her feline counterpart. "Someone better not be talking about me behind my back…"

Moments later, two running figures come into the blue haired girl's view. "Sorry, Natsuki. Have you been waiting for long?" Mai brings up her hand in an apologetic manner and pulls on Mikoto's skirt to make the jumpy middle schooler sit down with her.

"Nah, don't worry about it. Why don't you hurry up and go feed your pet? Don't mean to be rude, but she's burning a hole through my bento box with her eyes." With furrowed brows, Natsuki turns her body in order to shield her bento box from the feral gaze.

"Natsuki's lunch smells so good. Can I have some?" Closing her eyes to enhance her sense of smell, Mikoto begins to sway towards where Natsuki is sitting.

"No, go bug your owner and step back. You're going to put drool all over my bento." Modifying the traditional Japanese custom to chase away demons with beans, Natsuki picks up some grass and throws them at the approaching body with an annoyed look.

"Natsuki, you don't seem excited at all to see me. Now that you have Kaichou to make you love bentos everyday, you don't need me anymore…" Mai hides her face behind her hands as her shoulder trembles intermittently. Any passerby from afar will think that Mai is going through an emotional breakup.

"You're faking it. I can tell. I live with the mistress of deceit, remember?" Rolling her eyes with a sigh, Natsuki carefully unknots the handkerchief around the bento.

Mai brings down her hands and pouts. "I'm going to tell Kaichou you called her that." _Now that Kaichou is back in Natsuki's life, payback is just too easy._

"Mai, Natsuki threw grass at me, tell Kaichou about that too!" Mikoto buries her face in Mai's soft bosoms and complains like a spoiled child. "Can I have my lunch now?"

"Why … you two …" Numerous crosses appear on Natsuki's forehead. _If Shizuru hears any strange rumors about today, I swear I'm going to make your life hell, Tokiha Mai._

An unexpected shout halts Natsuki's attempt to throw more grass at the duo. "Oh no! Where are my lunch boxes?" A few more seconds of frantic digging in her backpack later, Mai looks down worriedly at the petite girl in her lap. "Mikoto, how do you feel about getting some delicious curry buns at the school cafeteria?"

"EHHHH???" The black haired girl instantly narrows her eyes at the tempting bento just a few feet away. "Mikoto wants food NOW."

A looming black shadow is all she sees as Natsuki picks up her head after shuffling some mayonnaise shumais in her mouth. When she looks down at her lap again, she finds that the neatly prepared lunch box is now being held by two pairs of hands. "Hey, what are you doing? Let go! Shizuru made this for me, not for you."

"Natsuki can eat curry buns from the school cafeteria. Mikoto is hungry now." Two black braids swing freely in the air as their possessor shakes her head passionately while grabbing onto the little box of food with newfound strength.

"Mikoto, you get your butt over here right … Oh my goodness …" Everything seems to be happening in slow motion according to Mai. Tiny shumais and dumplings perform an aerial dance with speckles of rice raining in the background. As soon as everything hits the ground, cries of disappointment shoot out from two different directions.

Within seconds, Mikoto's natural instinct drives her to scramble behind Mai's back. Actually anyone with a normal vision can see steam coming out of the top of Natsuki's head.

"Natsuki, listen. We can talk about this." _Move, damn feet, move!_

"You can talk to what is left of Shizuru's cooking in the mud. I'll only say this once. Give her to me." With each step she takes, Natsuki's face contorts to a more menacing degree. _How dare you ruin Shizuru's hardwork!_

Soft whimpers on her back remind Mai that she needs to come up with a distraction quickly. "Hey, this is a great opportunity for you to go take Kaichou out for a surprise lunch."

The idea enters Natsuki's mind for the first time and stops her in her track. "Alright, why should I do that today? I'm picking her up after school anyways. I can wait for a few more hours before meeting up with her."

"Natsuki, I have one word for you." _How thick can this girl's skull be? I feel bad for Kaichou sometimes …_

"And that is …" Natsuki raises an eyebrow.

"Romance." Mai replies with a cheeky grin.

"Ro … ro … what?" If a thermometer is put in Natsuki's mouth, the mercury inside will probably burst through the top immediately. "Why do I need to be romantic towards Shizuru? She and I are just … We are not …" _Damnit, what are we?_

_Fine, I'll give you a break. _"By the time you figure out where you stand with Kaichou, her lunch break is going to be over. Natsuki, stop over analyzing everything. Just go!" To emphasize her point, Mai turns Natsuki's body around roughly and gives her back a solid push. _Nicely done. Disaster dodged._

Still not really sure how she ends up dashing towards the forest for her motorcycle, Natsuki nevertheless smiles at the prospect of seeing her lovely roommate in a few minutes. _Can't wait to see the look on her face when she sees me. I mean, she won't turn me away …right?_

TBC.

----Omake begins----

Mai: C'mon, Mikoto. The big bad is gone now. Let's head over to the … What are you doing?

A crouching Mikoto looks up at Mai with a mouthful of muddy dumplings.

Mikoto: Huh? Wha diju say?

Mai: Spit everything out! You're gonna get sick!

Mikoto: (Swallows hard) What about the Five Seconds Rule?

Mai: I don't think that applies when the food falls on a muddy surface.

Mikoto: (Pout) If only Miroku is still around …

Mai: What does Miroku have to do with this?

Mikoto: In the past, if I saw that food was about to fall on the ground, I just called out Miroku to catch everything so that the food would remain mud-free.

Mai: Don't tell me that's how you came up with the underground spikes attack …

----Omake ends----


	2. Attack of the Fangirls

**Title**: Roommates Diary II - Double Date In Hell (Part II)  
**Author**: ficeler37  
**Note**: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.  
**Rating**: PG  
**Word count**: 1285

**Summary**: Natsuki finds Shizuru with the fangirls.

**A/N **: Thanks for all the friendly comments after my hiatus. Hopefully you guys will be thoroughly entertained by my latest story. I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. At the same time, I feel kinda bad that I got so sucked into a certain scene which causes me to not move fast enough with my plot line. (Sigh) If you guys want to make me feel better, just laugh at some point of the story. (Grin)

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In order to save time, Natsuki decides to skip changing into the biker uniform and just rides to the destination in her high school uniform. It is not a surprise that her arrival at the gate of Fuka University creates quite a commotion. Male and female students alike swoon and faint at their spots as Natsuki jumps off her motorcycle in one fluid movement then tosses her hair back casually with one hand. Ignoring all the admiring glances being thrown her way, the girl with sharp emerald eyes marches into the campus with only one person in mind – the Kyoto-born newly elected FU student council president.

After walking along the main university road for three minutes, a thought suddenly strikes Natsuki like a lightning bolt out of the clear blue sky. _Shit, I have no idea where Shizuru is. Natsuki, why did you never bother to figure out her class schedule? Think hard. If you were Shizuru, where would you go after class? Hm … _The more Natsuki tries to put herself in Shizuru's shoes, the more she realizes how little she knows about her best friend. _I vowed to get to know her better and what have I been doing for the past week? How does Shizuru put up with me?_

"Hello, Kuga-san. What a surprise to see you here. Are you lost?"

Natsuki turns around and finds a familiar beaming face. "Hey Reito, do you know where Shizuru is?" No formal pleasantries, no informal hellos. But that's how Kuga Natsuki treats people that she can care less about. At the moment, only a certain chestnut haired beauty matters.

Reito merely smiles at her directness. After all, it's the people who do not speak their minds around whom he needs to be cautious. "Sadly I don't have the answer to your question. But I do have ways to find out. My advice is … follow the fangirls." He nods towards a group of girls running towards a far off crowded fountain with excited grins plastered on their faces.

"… Shizuru-sama is giving out midterm tips …" "… she is sooo beauti …" " … if only I can be …" "… I wish I am her …"

Bits and pieces of their conversations flow into the ears of Reito and Natsuki as a small fraction of Shizuru's fan club jogs past them. As a layer of dark mist overshadows the blue haired girl's twisted facial features, Reito only shakes his head, partially for the childish behavior of those girls, but most of all for the stubbornness of the girl in front of him. _It is so obvious. Can't she see? Shizuru-san certainly has my sympathy._

"Time for me to follow the white rabbit, or should I say howling hyenas? See ya, Reito." Not even recognizing the hint of jealousy in her tone, Natsuki begins to head for the fountain in quick steps. _Geez, finding Shizuru was easy. Why can't fangirls be one of those things that go away after graduation? (Sigh) Some things just never change. _

Somehow the crowd seems to triple in size as Natsuki gets close enough that the tip of Shizuru's head is now visible from the edge of dense cluster. Amid the high-pitched screams, the Kyoto woman's melodious voice flows out like a cool stream under the heated sun and brings a smile to her face. But as she tries to make her way towards the girl who has been occupying her mind all morning, an even greater force seems determined to shove her back. Tired of continuing this push and pull muscle game, Natsuki decides to stand still and attempt to outscream everyone around her.

"OI, SHIZU … OW!" Before the lone girl in a high school uniform can finish her sentence, an unexpected elbow knocks the wind out of her lungs and disrupts her balance. Normally with Natsuki's excellent athletic ability, a little push like that will not even make her flinch. However a conveniently located rock under her right foot surprises her and causes her to fall on her back.

A harsh whisper resonates above Natsuki. "Go back to Fuka High School, come back in line when you've graduated and learnt some manners." By the time she looks up to see who the hell was bitching at her, nobody seems to be paying attention to her anymore. _This is insane! Shizuru has to deal with these banshees everyday?_

While Natsuki is lifting herself off the ground, the mass of people part like the red sea from biblical times and a slender figure emerges. Just as she pats her bottom to get rid of the dust, Shizuru pulls the younger girl into a fierce hug, which elicits audible gasps from the crowd.

_I knew I heard your voice. Nobody says my name the way you do. _"Are you ok, Natsuki?" The Kyoto woman in a sleeveless summer dress whispers into the long blue slightly tousled hair which smells of her favorite green tea shampoo. _These girls have gone too far this time …_

_Wow, it's a miracle that she heard me. _"I'm alright. Everyone is staring at us, Shizuru. You can let go now." Feeling uncomfortable under the dagger-liked glares coming from all directions, a blushing Natsuki squirms lightly against the warm embrace.

Shizuru tightens her arms. "Let them stare." _Now I'm angry. Nobody messes with MY Natsuki in my presence. _In slow motion, she twists her head around and takes off her mask in front of her fan club for the first time. Everyone is shocked to sense the killing intent behind that elegant smile that they habitually love and adore.

_Now that Shizuru is doing exactly what I have always wanted her to do, why do I suddenly feel bad for the girls? _"Hey, are you sure you want to alienate your fangirls like that?"

Returning her attention to the girl in her arms, Shizuru replies with a smirk. "Give them a day or two. They'll recover just fine."

Natsuki leans closer to the other girl's ear and speaks in a conspiracy tone. "Oh right, fangirls never die."

A lighthearted chuckle later, Shizuru lets go of Natsuki and turns to the petrified girls, this time with her usual graceful smile. "It breaks my heart to cut our time together short today, but unfortunately I have some prearranged obligations to attend to." Given the current state of the crowd, a stray dog catcher might mistake the girls as lost puppies and ship them to the city pound.

_I gotta breathe some life into those bodies. _"Ara, if it isn't Reito-san by the academic building." With their new target in mind, sparks rekindle in the eyes of fangirls. Everyone says their goodbyes to their beloved kaichou and rushes off towards a building not too far away.

"Poor Reito." Not an ounce of sympathy in Natsuki's voice.

"Don't worry about him. As my second in command, this is part of his job description anyways." An equally apathetic tone.

"Ha ha ha …" The two girls share a sweet moment of laughter, smiling and basking in each other's presence.

TBC.

_----_Omake begins----

Fangirls: ... ... ... ... ... ... Reito-senpai!!!

( , ) ( , ) incoming dust clouds ( , ) ( , )

Reito's spider-sense ... (cough) I mean, fangirl alarm system goes off with a blaring siren.

Fangirls: ... ... ... Reito-senpai!!!

Reito: _If Shizuru-san could do it, I can do it, too. _Greetings, oh gentle and beautiful ladies. Ara, if it isn't ...

Reito's inconvenient truth –

Body Location: Currently surrounded by a sea of unattractive individuals.

Reito: _Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!_

Fangirls: Reito-senpai!!! Catch us!!!

Reito's body flattens with a bone-crunching thud underneath the deadly combined weight of health-conscious fangirls.

----Omake ends----


	3. Reassurance, then Disturbance

**Title**: Roommates Diary II - Double Date In Hell (Part III)  
**Author**: ficeler37  
**Note**: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.  
**Rating**: PG  
**Word count**: 1593

**Summary**: Shiznat having lunch. An unexpected phone call for Shizuru.

**A/N **: I'm moving on with my plot! Yay for me! The omake was a bit long this time. By the way, is there a general rule that omakes need to be short and to the point? I think I may be guilty of giving random people too much screen time. Anyhow, it's funny that this Shiznat scene was actually written about 2 months ago, but I just couldn't fit it into my previous series somehow. I'm glad it gets to see the light of the day finally.

**A/N 2 **: To Renny-chan, the idea of Resident Evil-style immortal fangirls really made me fall off my chair. You win at life! To Shezaei-neko, I'll think about your suggestion, hehe.  
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At Shizuru's suggestion, the two girls head to the cafeteria and carry some sandwiches back to the university's student council meeting room. Even though initially Natsuki planned on taking the other Kyoto woman out for lunch, she was not going to complain about enjoying their meal in an air-conditioned room under the summer heat. Plus, having the cafeteria and student council facilities be housed in the same building just makes evading rogue fangirls that much easier.

After a harsh yank on the door, Natsuki walks into the spacious yet unoccupied room with Shizuru trailing closely behind. With her back turned, the older girl slides the door shut with a barely noticeable smirk. The sound of wood colliding with the fresh painted frame is followed by a sneaky little click. When she turns around again, Shizuru finds that Natsuki has already plopped herself on top of the president's desk. Shizuru smiles at the space reserved for her, made evident by the placement of her sandwich.

Swinging their feet around absentmindedly, they kick off their lunch break with light conversations, with topics ranging from the status of the Mai/Mikoto relationship to what is for dinner tonight. But the dialogue is soon steered towards a fangirls complaint fest, due to an unconscious effort on Natsuki's part.

"… I just can't imagine how you deal with those crazy obsessed girls everyday. Don't they have better things to do than hovering around you like flies on shit? WAIT, I don't mean you're like … that. Shit, what am I … AHHHH, I just said it again! The bottom line is, Shizuru, you don't smell, ok?" _Jesus Christ, what the hell just came out of my mouth?!?!_

Shizuru swallows the last bite of her sandwich and lands her feet on the hardwood floor with a little push off the desk. "Well, I'm glad to hear that I don't smell. We share the same bottle of shampoo, remember?" As if Natsuki wasn't blushing enough already, the standing figure seems determined to witness a new shade of red on the other girl's face.

Pivoting gracefully on her toes, Shizuru traps the flushed girl on the desk by putting her hands on either side of her body. As she lightly rests her forehead on Natsuki's shoulder, provocative words escape her lips. "The more interesting question is … Natsuki, are you jealous of the fangirls?"

"Of course not!" Naturally, this is an answer on reflex.

"Really?" Shizuru accentuates the pronunciation of the word to emphasize her doubt.

Natsuki feels like the hot breath on her shoulder is shattering her wall of resolve effortlessly, that same wall which has successfully fended off people who try to get close to her true emotions in the past. "Well, maybe a little …" A murmur only audible to Shizuru's ears due to the position of the two bodies.

With a small smile, Shizuru raises her head from Natsuki's shoulder. Gently using her palm to guide Natsuki's gaze, the two girls are now staring directly into each other's eyes. "Tell me. What does Natsuki see?"

"You." An honest and immediate response.

"And?" Hiding behind the Kyoto ben is an encouraging tone.

She looks deeper into the crimson eyes. A splitting image of herself looks back intensely at her. "… me?"

"Uh huh." To avoid startling the ice princess, Shizuru tips her head forward little by little until their foreheads make contact. In such close proximity, she lets her voice come out in a whisper. "Just in case Natsuki forgot, let me remind you once again. What you saw in my eyes is all I see. Shouldn't you know who my most important person is by now?"

"Shizuru …" Acting purely on her instincts, Natsuki pulls the older girl into a tight embrace. "I don't know why I feel this way whenever I see those girls around you. I have no right to … And above all, I hate myself for not being able to figure out my feelings, and you …"

"Shuush … Natsuki can take all the time she needs." _When you're ready, I'll be here. I'll wait for you … for as long as I can. This is a promise._

---

Since Shizuru's econometrics professor is calling in sick today, she is actually free to leave the campus in the afternoon. At first the ex-Fuka High Kaichou wants to pay her old school a surprise visit, but her unofficial knight in shining armor talks her out of it by stating that dodging fangirls once a day is enough. With an understanding nod, the older girl decides that she is going to home and do laundry as an alternative option. So instead of riding the motorcycle straight back to Fuka High School right after lunch, Natsuki drops her roommate off at their home before going back to school.

In front of their door's name tag which now reads "Kuga Natsuki" and "Fujino Shizuru" side by side, Shizuru cannot help but wonder if there will be a day when their first names are listed next to one single last name. _Well, a girl can dream, right?_

A sudden phone ring coming from behind the door breaks Shizuru out of her reverie. Unlocking the door in a hurry, she jogs over to the phone stand with her shoes still on. "Hello, Fujino speaking."

"Oh, you're home. I was not expecting this. How are you, Shizuru?"

_Oh my god. _"Father? What a surprise. I am well." If there is any trembling in her heart, her voice is certainly not betraying how she truly feels.

"I intended to leave a message to ask you to call me back. But since you are here, I will cut straight to the point. You are not seeing anyone, right?"

Shizuru clears her throat at the straightforwardness of the question. "That is correct, father." _How I wish I can say otherwise …Natsuki …_

"Great. I have a fine young man in mind for you …"

_How cliché can this get? _"Please allow me to say this with the utmost respect, but I would prefer to be the one in charge of my private life." _Men … (Scoff)_

"Then do this as a favor for me. A promising subordinate of a close work associate of mine is quite fond of you. I have already promised my old friend that I would grant his subordinate a date with my lovely daughter. Shizuru, surely you will not suggest that I shall go back on my words?"

_Such a rhetorical question. _"Of course not. But …"

"Then I don't think there is anything more for us to discuss. You will meet one Eto Jun-kun this weekend. I have already taken the liberty of giving him your cell phone number. Do expect his call in the next few days."

_This is so frustrating! I'm totally being set up! _"Have a good day, father." Shizuru hangs up the phone with the click of a button. In an unladylike manner, she throws herself down on the sofa with a defeated sigh. _Just when I thought it was going to be a smooth sailing for my relationship with Natsuki, someone just has to show up from nowhere to mess things up. Eto Jun … How dare you use my father to get close to me. Whoever you are, you better watch out. _

TBC.

----Omake begins----

On her way back to Fuka High School, Natsuki is speeding on the Fuka Expressway as usual.

Suddenly, wailing sirens appear behind the dark blue motorcycle.

Cop A: Now what you did that for, rookie?

Cop B: Uhm, it's my job? That motorcycle is clearly speeding. Aren't we going to pull it over?

Cop A: Didn't someone tell you to read the Fuka traffic manual before you started your first shift?

Cop B: And didn't someone tell you that I graduated top of my class at the State Traffic School and that I know all the traffic laws by heart?

Cop A: Well, smart ass, you just broke the Fuka traffic unit's first cardinal rule.

Cop B: Huh? It's a crime to use the siren to pull people over now?

Cop A: Yes, it's a crime if the people have the Fujino family seal of immunity on their vehicles' license plates. For each ticket we give out, the Fujino Corporation takes away ten percent of their annual donation to the Fuka Traffic Department. Thanks to your stupid siren, now we gotta pull that motorcycle over. Oh you're gonna be so popular in our unit, jack ass.

Cop B: Oh god, what have I done? Wait, I know! We don't have to stop the motorcycle. Let's just pull over some other speeding vehicle that is not blessed by the Fujino's. Look, there's a red sports car behind us. Let's pull that car over instead!

Cop A: Good work, son! No wonder you were top of your class.

As Natsuki speeds away on her bike, the highway patrol car pulls over a red sports car.

Cop A: Sir, please show me your license.

Driver: Good afternoon, officers. May I ask why I was pulled over?

Cop B: Well … (Looks down at the license) … Mr. Eto Jun, we believe you were speeding.

Eto Jun: The accusation is ludicrous. I stare down at my car's speed meter every five minutes. Are you guys on drugs?

Cop A: Alright, that's it. Misdemeanor towards police officers is enough to earn you a ticket, young man.

Eto Jun: What? That's not fair!

Cop B: Well, life is not fair. Blame your karma.

----Omake ends----


	4. Trouble Named Kenta

**Title**: Roommates Diary II - Double Date In Hell (Part IV)  
**Author**: ficeler37  
**Note**: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.  
**Rating**: PG  
**Word count**: 1667

**Summary**: Ninja Kenta is back! Storm alert in the Shiznat household!

**A/N **: A slightly longer update than usual. Wee! Trying hard to push the plot, but still comes up short. Ahhh, there is really no point of me to estimate plot progression in each chapter. So far I've had a 100 percent chance of not meeting the goal. (Sigh) I don't find this chapter (the main content) as funny as the previous ones, possibly cuz of the plot development. Well, I hope the omake makes up for the crack!

**A/N 2 **: To writer-jm, flies on poo! You phrased it in such a cute way. I feel like my own vulgarity has influenced the speech patterns of our heroines. Oops. Sims scenario with the Kuga-Fujino family and the pimping father? LOL. To shezaei-neko, SayurixMion and the undead renny-chan, yes, your predictions are correct. To everyone who hates Eto Jun, please continue. LMAO.

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After the unpleasant conversation with her father, Shizuru curls up on the sofa with her eyes closed, still getting adjusted to the idea that she will have to go on a date with a stranger in a few days. Struggling to soothe the distracting ripples in her mind, she tries to focus only on her senses of touch and smell to clear her mind a bit.

_The couch is so soft ... soft like Natsuki's skin. The fresh smell of the cotton sofa cover is surprisingly familiar. Hmmm ... is it because Natsuki's natural odor is embedded into the material? Hehe, does this count as indirectly kissing her butt? Not that I would mind._

Thanks to a couple minutes of silent giggling, the thought of Natsuki relaxes her tense muscles effortlessly. She sits up, opens her eyes again, and lets a sense of calmness wash over her. _No point worrying about something I can't control. Let's do laundry instead._

As Shizuru walk in and out of her room and Natsuki's room to gather the dirty clothes, a crumbled up receipt on the floor catches her eye. _Weird, I thought I had the Fukea receipt for the bed … _Picking up the dingy strip of paper, she quickly notices the phone number scribbled on the back. _Yet another Eto … A phone number that starts with 666? Is this Eto Kenta secretly a satan worshipper? Wait a minute, I've made a similar comment for another phone number before. _

To confirm her suspicion, Shizuru takes out her cell phone, and skims through her phone book. _Aha, I knew I've seen that number before. My ex-landlord asked me to call that number if I ever locked myself out of the apartment. This Kenta must be related to my ex-landlord then. But how come Natsuki has his number? _

Sitting down on Natsuki's bed, her memory rewinds back to her moving in days. The more she thinks about all the possible reasons for Natsuki's possession of the number, the more her eyebrows draw closer together. _It's not even her handwriting on the receipt. What is going on here?_

Before Shizuru realizes what she is doing, the other end of the phone is already ringing next to her ear. _Why do I feel like a wife who is trying to catch her husband cheating? Don't be so paranoid! I should just wait for Natsuki to come back and ask her. _Just as she is about to put down the phone, a vibrant voice shoots out from the receiver.

"Yo, what's up? Kenta's in the house!" Hip hop music can be heard in the background.

The unexpected reply renders Shizuru temporarily speechless. A million thoughts are running through her mind. _What if I say something that will lead to the discovery of a secret that Natsuki is trying to hide from me? Do I want to know about it? Do I?_

Miles away from the Kuga/Fujino residence, a stylishly dressed young man with red spiky hair is scratching his head. _Hmm … don't recognize the number. If it's a tenant, someone should be saying something by now. Ohhhh, don't tell me, I know who this is. _"Hello? Is this Natsuki-chan?" _If it's her, she'll flip out on me for using 'chan' on her._ _That should get her to speak up. If it's not, what's the harm?_

The term of endearment shatters all the self-doubt that was plaguing her just moments ago. She can feel the blood in her veins dropping in temperature rapidly. "Wrong guess. Natsuki is still at school. Ara, is this Eto Kenta-kun?" _Who are you? How dare you call her that?_

_Someone who knows Natsuki? Kyoto-ben? The ability to transform the most polite words into bloody sharp knives? Ahhhh! Shit, shit, shit! It's HER! _As soon as Kenta realizes to whom he is talking, he hangs up the phone by instinct. After taking a couple deep breaths to slow down his galloping heart rate, he begins to regret his action.

_Damn, I should have said that I'm not Kenta at least. What if she calls me back? As if I don't have enough women troubles already, I really don't need an angry girlfriend on my back right now. _For his peace of mind, Kenta decides to turn off his cell phone. _I hope I didn't just get Kuga into trouble …_

Shizuru looks down at her cell phone; the satanic phone number has disappeared from the glass display. A part of her is annoyed with how little information she got out of this phone call. Yet a bigger part of her is sighing in relief. _I don't want to jump into conclusions here. What are the chances of Natsuki stashing away a boyfriend behind my back? I'm sure she will have a good explanation for this. Shizuru, have faith._

---

When Natsuki opens the door to her apartment, she is pleasantly surprised by the sweet scent coming out from the kitchen. _Yay, mayonnaise for dinner! I wonder what the big occasion is … _"Shizuru! I'm home!" Shaking off her shoes in a hurry, she jogs to the kitchen and finds the older girl in her cute form-fitting pink apron.

Never letting the stove leave her sight, Shizuru replies with her back still turned. "Welcome home, Natsuki. Want to give me a little kiss before setting the table?"

"You wish." Keeping her head down to avoid eye contact with the smirking girl, Natsuki reaches for the utensils drawer next to the stove.

"Hmmmm … how much mayonnaise should I put into this dish tonight? Come to think of it, maybe I should water down the mayonnaise sauce in the other dish too …"

_Ahhhh, you evil woman! Fine! You wanna play this way? _Lightly pushing the chestnut hair back, Natsuki gives Shizuru's shoulder a solid kiss, even emphasizing the smooching sound. _HA, I WON! _"There."

"Cheater." _Oh well, a kiss is a kiss. I should have been more specific …_

"Extra mayonnaise on the fried fish, please." _You think I'll let you take advantage of me every single time? _Grinning like a cat that just caught a fish, Natuski almost skips out of the kitchen with bowls and chopsticks in hand.

_(Sigh) Why did I have to use that word? Natsuki can't be a cheater for real. What if this turns into a case of self-fulfilling prophecy? Soon … the moment of truth will come … _Putting in a few extra squeezes on the mayonnaise bottle, Shizuru stares down at her handiwork with a worried look.

---

Even though the dishes tonight are all her favorites, Natsuki can sense an uneasy feeling seeping out from the person who is having more sips of tea then bites of rice through out dinner so far. _She seemed fine while preparing the food. Did something happen when I wasn't looking? _Not quite sure how to ask Shizuru what is bothering her, Natsuki decides to keep her mouth shut. Thus the dinner table is more quiet than usual.

The sudden creak of Shizuru's chair is deafening in the absence of other sounds. Shizuru excuses herself from the table and walks into the kitchen. One minute of rhythmic chopping noises later, she comes back out with a mountain of green onions on a round plate. She puts the plate down next to her bowl and takes a few sips of her green tea. Silence reigns the dinner table once again.

Finally, Natsuki cannot stand the stillness anymore. "Shizuru, what is the meaning of the green onions?"

"Who is Eto Kenta?"

Natsuki chokes on her rice. _Oh my god, how did she hear that name? _"Who?"

The older girl pushes the plate of green onions closer to the mayonnaise dishes. "E-TO KEN-TA." Crimson eyes stare straight ahead at the fidgeting figure.

_Should I just tell Shizuru how I met him? Will she think too much of this? _The blue haired girl narrows her eyes at the wickedness that threatens to contaminate her dinner. _I need to be careful with my answers. _"Uhm, just a random guy."

"Really? So how did you …"

(Ring ring ring)

Shizuru twists her head around and glances at her cell phone on the sofa. _The ring tone indicates a phone number that is not in my phone book. Oh no, could it be …_

_Saved by the bell … wait, I mean, ring!!! _"Are you going to get that?" Natsuki looks at the other girl quizzically.

_What horrible timing … _Shizuru picks up her cell phone. "Hello, Fujino speaking."

What comes out of Shizuru's mouth next sends Natsuki choking on her rice for the second time tonight.

"Good evening to you too, Eto-san."

TBC.

----Omake begins----

Kenta has just turned off his cell phone.

Meanwhile, in the Fuka police station …

Jail guard: You get one phone call. Make it quick.

Jun: I'm a lawful citizen! In fact, I'm a lawyer! How did I end up in a jail cell when all I did was getting a questionable speeding ticket?

Jail guard: You can complain to the judge later. I'm not paid to hear you whine about your sucky life.

Jun: ARGH! Fine, give me the phone.

Jun waits for Kenta to pick up the phone. (Imagine jeopardy theme song in background)

A soft click is heard from the other end of the phone.

Jun: Kenta, bail me out! I'm at …

Kenta: What's up, chicas! If you're looking for some loving …

Jun hangs up the phone with a grunt.

Jun: Damn my irresponsible brother! Now I gotta call Dad. This is so embarrassing … HEY, GUARD! Where are you taking my phone?

Jail guard: Your one phone call is up.

Jun: But I got the answering machine!

Jail guard: It's not my fault that you have rotten luck. Don't gimme that shit face. Repenting your sins might make you feel better. Later.

Jun: Wait! Come back! Noooooooooooooo!

Jun ends up spending the entire afternoon in the jail cell.

----Omake ends----


	5. Clash and Alliance

**Title**: Roommates Diary II - Double Date In Hell (Part V)  
**Author**: ficeler37  
**Note**: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.  
**Rating**: PG, R for the omake  
**Word count**: 1724

**Summary**: Shiznat's first real fight! Natsuki and Kenta as partners in crime.

**A/N **: This chapter took me a looooong time. I kept rewriting the fighting scene because my first draft made Shiznat really really mean towards each other, and it made me wanna cry while reading it. But since then, I've really toned down the argument, and voila, the presented chapter. Personally I hate fight scenes, but for the sake of the plot, sorry Shiznat! But hey, that's what make-up ... wait, they can't be DOING it at this point, uhm, yea, you know what I mean. I hope you'll find the addition of Kenta as a regular to be entertaining. I certainly had fun writing his lines. LOL. For all you Mai/Mikoto fans out there, watch out for the omake!

**A/N 2 **: To writer-jm, yea, definitely am having trouble with the vagueness. Hopefully I can pull it off. To the lecher society spy AKA renny-chan, can't believe how many times you used that word in your review. Grrr! XD PS: Green onions leek to me. To SayurixMion, this is the downhill chapter that you mentioned. Well, uphill slope coming up! To 808tenchi, torture is my middle name. Too bad for Eto Jun. Heh. To Uchiha-chan, 300 pride!

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"Yes, I have talked to my father ..." Shizuru can feel her blood pressure rising at the mention of her nice family chat. _Sometimes I really hate being a Fujino …_ "This Sunday morning at ten at the Fuka Theatre? That is fine ..." _We better not be watching a romantic comedy together. Oh no, just the thought of it makes me want to throw up …_

A couple feet away from the sofa, Natsuki has stopped all interactions with her delicious dinner and is now giving the Kyoto woman a hundred percent of her attention. But with Shizuru's back turned, she is unable to observe the older girl's facial expressions, thus making it harder to make sense of the situation. _Is it Kenta who's calling her? Am I hearing this right? He's asking her out???_

"No, it's okay. I can get there myself ... Yes, I agree that a sports car is a magnificent vehicle. Unfortunately I have a problem with motion sickness, and I certainly do not wish to deprive you of a more rewarding driving experience ..." _What is this macho obsession with sports cars? _"Please, I insist ..."

_Wait, it can't be Kenta. That guy can't afford a sports car, he gives tattoos! A bicycle, maybe. Then who is on the other side of the phone?_

"I will see you then. Goodbye and good night." _Hmmm … what are the chances of him getting run over by a truck before Sunday comes? I don't think I'm asking for too much. If only I still have Kiyohime around …_

Natsuki watches the other girl walk silently back to the dinner table after hanging up. Dinner resumes like the past few minutes never happened. Coming to the conclusion that the other girl is not going to reveal what is on her mind on her own, she huffs out a sigh.

"Aren't you going to tell me what's going on?" She strives to make eye contact with the chestnut haired girl.

Shizuru replies without looking up. "Just a business meeting this Sunday." _Please let it drop. I really don't want to get you involved in this fiasco._

"You're having a BUSINESS meeting in a movie theatre? Riiiight. Next thing I know, you'll be telling me that the meeting is in the amusement park." _Why are you lying to me? Just hours ago you were telling me that I could take my time figuring out my feelings. Was that a lie too? Am I running out of time?_

"Please, Natsuki. I am not any happier about this ... arrangement than you are. This Eto Jun guy somehow got to my father and cornered me into meeting him this weekend."

"Then why didn't you tell me about it right from the start? Don't you trust me?" _Am I not reliable enough for you to lean on when you're troubled?_

"Of course I trust you. I just didn't have time to bring up the subject ..." _The Eto Jun matter can wait. Back to the topic before I was interrupted by the phone call. _"Anyways … were you ever going to tell me about Eto Kenta? I'm not trying to control with whom you are friends, but I am just surprised that you had made a friend in the past week without me knowing."

Even though Shizuru is delivering her speech with the most even voice, Natsuki can still detect the jealousy hiding behind the words. "There's nothing to say about him. I barely know him."

"I beg to differ. He was calling you 'Natsuki-chan' over the phone today." _Thinking about it makes me want to smack him._

"Hold on, you talked to him on the phone?" _Damn that Kenta. I told him I would castrate him if I ever heard those syllables come out of his mouth. _"I need some air. Too much information in such a short amount of time. I'm taking my bike for a run. Don't stay up to wait for me."

"Natsuki, don't …"

"You know what? Who am I to meddle in your personal life? While I'm out, you can start thinking about what you're gonna wear and do on your DATE this Sunday. Bye." _I knew from the start that Shizuru was going to marry a nice young man whom her family approves. How foolish of me to think that she will actually wait for me._

The girl left behind can swear that green eyes were tearing up as Natsuki walked out the door. Slumping down on the sofa, she buries her face in her hands. _Natsuki … baka._

---

The sound of a revving engine fills the semi-busy streets in downtown Fuka. A dark blue motorcycle darts in and out of traffic like water flowing through stone cracks – frictionless and unstoppable. But no matter how fast she goes and how much oxygen is rushing into her helmet, Kuga Natsuki still finds it impossible to get rid of the stifling feeling in her lungs, that feeling of something essential being ripped out of her.

Unable to reach the usual satisfaction from being one with her dark blue steel, Natsuki stops outside a random convenient store, hoping to find the new release of unknown mayonnaise flavors. As she walks through the glass sliding doors in search of her comfort food, the sight of a red haired guy with semi-glazed black eyes paying at the register makes her eyes bulge out of her sockets. _What a small world, just the punching bag I'm looking for._

"YOU! Come with me!" She gives the guy's arm a nice hard squeeze and drags him out of the store.

Struggling to not fall flat on his face, the soon-to-be punching bag looks at his attacker in surprise. "Ow! Hey, it's you! How are you doing, gir … rrrl?!?!" Kenta drops to the floor with watery eyes, his hand covering his private parts.

"This is for calling me 'Natsuki-chan' today." Natsuki takes out a tissue paper and wipes at the invisible germs on her right shoe.

Still trying to catch his breath, Kenta looks up at Natsuki incredulously. "Wait, how did you … Oooooh, I guess you've talked to HER already."

"You bet I've talked to Shizuru." Natsuki crosses her arms and leans on her metallic friend. "Hmm, you are recovering pretty quickly."

Pulling himself off the ground, he first does a neck rotation stretch then examines the front of his pants for any suspicious looking footprints. "Believe me, you are not the only girl who wants to kick me in the crotch. I got protection on a daily basis." Satisfied with his inspection, he returns his attention to his beautiful but dangerous companion. "Wow, nice motorcycle. By the way, no offense, but you are sooooo gay."

"What? Where did that come from?" Blood rushes rapidly up the blue haired girl's face.

Kenta puts on his Mr. Encyclopedia look. "Haven't you heard of Dykes on Bikes?"

"No … since when did you become the shoujo ai guru?" _Sometimes I wonder if this guy is in the closet …_

"(Pfft) It's more of a western queer culture trend. Let's just say that in my quest of becoming a ladies man, I have come across all sorts of literature. Anyhow, not that you're a cheery person to begin with, but you seem extra upset tonight, what's going on?"

"It's nothing that you can help me with anyways ..." She turns her gaze to the small pebbles on the side of the road, her heart unfamiliar with a person's caring tone.

"Let me guess, bedroom problems?" Kuga style rocket punch! "Ow!"

"Argh! Get your mind out of the gutter! Right now I just want to know who the hell this Eto Jun is and why he is going out with Shizuru this weekend."

"The why is pretty obvious. I mean, who wouldn't want to be with that hot ..." Neon green laser beam, activate. "(Cough) As I was saying, now for the who ... Did you just say Eto Jun? That's funny. My brother's name is Eto Jun."

"You're related to him?" Shocked to hear the breakthrough news in Shizuru's Sunday date development, Natsuki jumps up and grabs Kenta by the collar with a rough pull.

"Hey, relax with the fists! You've met your let's-beat-up-Kenta quota tonight. The thing is, we don't even know if we're talking about the same person here."

"Okay, did you brother say anything about a movie at Fuka Theatre on Sunday morning?" She takes a deep breath and releases the slightly shaken guy.

"Uhm … now that you brought it up, last night he did ask me about the horror movies showing on Sunday …"

"Kenta, we are tagging along on their date. Better yet, make it a double date." _Just like that old saying … If you can't defeat the devil, join the devil._

"Please tell me you're joking."_ God, what did I just get myself into?_

"I don't care what you need to say to your brother. Blackmail him if you have to. Just make it happen, alright?"

"Assume that I got us on this date. What do I get out of this?" (Smirk)

The unexpected question renders Natsuki speechless for a few seconds. "Uhm … food? … Wait, he's not a dog … Oh, I have an idea! I'll introduce you to some decent female friends of mine."

"Mega boobies?" Black eyes glistening with hope.

_Is this what guys can only think about? On the other hand, Mai does have above average size breasts … _"Yea, yea …" Natsuki can only roll her eyes. _In order to protect Shizuru, someone needs to be sacrificed. Rest in peace, Mai.  
_

TBC.

----Omake begins----

Mai and Mikoto are taking a bubble bath in their school dorm room.

Mai: Mikoto, come closer so that I can wash your hair!

Mikoto: OKAY!

Mikoto approaches Mai while pushing all the bubbles floating in the water towards her busty owner.

Mai: What are you trying to do this time?

Mikoto: Mai's breasts are the best!

Mikoto bounces the bubbles on Mai's supple bosoms and tries to capture the rebounding airy bubbles with her mouth.

Mai: Don't eat the bubbles in the air! The soap is going to make you sick!

Mikoto's brows furrow for a moment.

Mikoto: I'll eat the bubbles on you then.

Mai: IYA!!!!!!!!!

----Omake ends----


	6. Together, We Kick

**Title**: Roommates Diary II - Double Date In Hell (Part VI)  
**Author**: ficeler37  
**Note**: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.  
**Rating**: PG  
**Word count**: 1968

**Summary**: Shiznat's make up scene.

**A/N **: Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! To celebrate this joyous holiday, I present to you the Shiznat make up scene! (Note: NOT make out) Back to the fluffy mc-fluff. (Happy sigh) Me like to write about happy things. I definitely feel like I'm back on track. By the way, the double date will begin in the next chapter. Wee! Took me six chapters to get there, but it's finally coming! This chapter will foreshadow what is to come for Jun. Is everybody ready for some Jun torturing? Hehe.

**A/N 2 **: To midorihitomi, SayurixMion and Pretend2besome1, look, Shiznat are not fighting anymore! Be happy! To AnomolyIdiotic, sorry, I deleted the bad fight. Please use your imagination. To renny-chan, I'll try to deliver everything you mentioned in your review. Please sit back and enjoy the graceful accidents. Heh. Mikoto as the ultimate pimp? LOL. To pink mist, yes, Sunrise should hire me. (Spins in circles) To writer-jm, Shiznat as demonic lesbians? LMAO. I died laughing. Mai/Mikoto may randomly pop up again in the future. Look out for them. (Grin)

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Warm unabashed sunrays enter Shizuru's room through the off-white sheer curtains and cast an ethereal glow on the sleeping Kyoto beauty. Next to the recently acquired purple snake stuffed toy at the night stand is an antique alarm clock. At exactly six thirty in the morning, the melodic tune of 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' fills the tidy bedroom, putting a little frown on those red luscious lips. Blurry view of the cute little snake slowly comes into focus as Shizuru travels further and further away from her subconscious. Realizing at what she is looking, her little frown flips to a small smile as she recalls the lively amusement park date.

_Yet another beautiful day … Time to go wake up Natsuki. I hope she's not mad at me still … _Running her fingers through chestnut colored tresses, Shizuru slides her feet into a pair of fluffy purple slippers. On a side note, she has also bought a matching blue pair for the ice princess next door. But the fluffy blue counterpart is currently tucked away safely underneath the bed, as Natsuki prefers to walk around the apartment barefooted.

After opening her door, Shizuru takes a deep breath to sample the morning air, only to find a horrendous burning smell coming from the kitchen's direction. _I thought I told her not to use the kitchen without my direct supervision … She's up already? _Turning her head towards the room next door only confirms her suspicion. The university student chuckles at the body pillow lying on the floor along with half the blanket dangling from the bed. _Yet another morning with the bedroom being ripped apart by the tornado named Natsuki. First sign of normalcy for the day. This is good. Next, we investigate the mysterious odor …_

"Natsuki, are you in the kitchen?" Muffled footsteps approach the source of the stench, but come to a halt at the sound of a turning key from the foyer.

As the blue haired girl walks through the door, she is surprised to see her best friend staring back at her. "Oh … hi, good morning." She quickly hides the brown bag in her hand behind her back. _Damn, I wanted it to be a surprise._

"Good morning, Natsuki. I see that you got out of bed all by yourself this morning. What a surprise." _Ara, I wonder what she is hiding from me …_

"I didn't sleep well last night. Since I woke up earlier than usual, I just went to take a walk in the neighborhood." Her body tenses up under the Kyoto woman's intense gaze. _Am I really that easy to read? I swear this woman has x-ray vision in her past life. _

"Hm ... did you use the kitchen this morning?"

"How did you know I …" She sees Shizuru tap at her own nose and sniffs the air. _Shit, I forgot to …_

"If you don't want me to find out, try throwing out the trash next time before you leave the apartment." With a smirk, she heads towards the kitchen. "Can you open the windows while I take care of our little stinky problem?"

By the time Shizuru gets back from disposing the garbage, Natsuki has already laid out two plates of egg salad sandwiches and two glasses of orange juice on the table. "Go wash your hands and have a seat." Lowering her head to hide her blush, the younger girl pushes out the chair from underneath the table.

A minute later, Shizuru sits down with a raised eyebrow. "So … what's with the royal treatment this morning?" _Can my Natsuki be any cuter? Bright red cheeks and timid glances … Hm … what's on her mind?_

"When I got back to the apartment last night, you already closed your bedroom door. And I didn't want to bother you because you probably need your beauty sleep. I mean, not that you're not beautiful already. Who wants dark circles underneath their eyes anyways? Then this morning I was trying to make us breakfast but the toaster wasn't working properly and the toasts turned out like charcoals. We can't eat that. The toasts will stain our teeth …"

"Natsuki, you're almost out of oxygen and you are still not getting to the point." Shizuru pushes a glass of orange juice closer to the out of breath girl. "Now take a deep breath and tell me. What are you really trying to do?"

Natsuki takes a big gulp of juice and blurts out the phrase that she rehearsed for hours before bed. "I'm sorry."

"Pardon?" Rapid blinking. _Did she just …_

"Pay attention! I'm apologizing to you!" _Ahhh, I'm not supposed to be raising my voice… _Natsuki clears her throat and looks intently at the girl across the table. "Uhm, about last night, I'm sorry I reacted like an idiot. The date is all Eto Jun's fault, not yours. Would you mind erasing the words that came out of my mouth from your memory?"

_Ho ho, let the bargaining begin. _"You made it sound like it's just as easy as deleting files from a computer hard drive. I think it's going to take more than an egg salad sandwich and a glass of orange juice to do the trick." A finger on her cheek and one hand on the elbow, Fujino Shizuru's signature pose.

"Is that so …" Puppy ears droop down.

_KAWAII!!! But I can't back down now. Keep your eyes on the big money, Shizuru. _"You owe me kisses."

"What?" Her knuckles on the glass turn white instantly at the sudden increased pressure.

_First, you bring out the bait_. "By the way, I made you some of my specialty mayonnaise from scratch while you were out last night. Would you like to try some with your sandwich?"

Now that the M word is in the picture, Shizuru's last comment is erased from Natsuki's mind just as easy as emptying the recycling bin on the computer desktop. "Really? You're letting me eat mayonnaise in the morning?" Puppy ears perk up.

_Then, the distraction commences. _"I put the bowl of mayonnaise on top of the TV last night. You didn't see it?"

The younger girl twists her upper body to the right with an eager look.

_Attack! _Shizuru leans in to give Natsuki a quick peck on the left cheek and pulls back as soon as the deed is done.

"Hey!" Imaginary smoke comes out of the head of a heavily blushing Natsuki.

_And before the trick gets old … _"Ara, how absent-minded of me. This morning I moved the bowl to the kitchen counter."

Driven by her love for mayonnaise, she ignores the alarm from the logical side of her brain and looks to her left.

_Here I go again! _Shizuru plants another kiss on the defenseless right cheek.

"AHHHH!" _Damn this woman!_

Giggles erupt from the kiss-a-holic as she wipes a tear at the corner of her eye. "I can't believe you fell for it twice."

"I swear, nothing from you can make me turn my head again!" Natsuki crosses her arms in front of her chest with a determined expression on her face.

"Really? How about …" Locking their gazes, Shizuru shifts her body weight forward, inch by inch …

_You are bluffing. I'm NOT moving my head. Wipe that smug smile off your face, Shizuru. I mean it. __Uhm … that's close enough … Hey, stop! You are going to … I … _Without her noticing, Natsuki is now staring at the lips that are advancing ever so slowly towards her own, her mind completely blank.

Both girls holding their breaths, the distance between them diminishes at each passing second, until …

"You licked me!"

Shizuru sticks out her tongue, the same one that grazes the tip of Natsuki's nose a second ago. "Silly Natsuki. It's in the fridge." _As much as I'd like to kiss Natsuki, this is not the right time …_

"Huh? What's in the fridge?" With all the blood rushed to her brain, a slightly disoriented Natsuki is having trouble remembering the topic of discussion.

"Your mayonnaise. That's my peace offering. I'm sorry for pushing you so hard about Eto Kenta last night …" This time it is Shizuru who lowers her eyes.

"Yea, about him …" _I'm going to come clean, once and for all. _Natsuki spends the next fifteen minutes explaining to Shizuru how she met Kenta, how they became acquaintances, and how she bribed Kenta into making the double date happen.

"So you're going on Sunday's date with me?" _Am I hearing this right? I don't have to face that creep alone?_

The doubt in Shizuru's voice fails to escape Natsuki's ears. "Uh huh." A reassuring smile. "Shizuru, I'm not the ignorant girl bent on revenge anymore. You can rely on me if you're in trouble. In fact, I WANT you to let me help. Don't try to fight a war without me on your side, okay?" She reaches out to grab hold of Shizuru's hand.

"Natsuki …" Shizuru places her forehead on top of their joined hands. With the sincerity of a devoted follower worshipping her goddess, she whispers, "Thank you."

"Don't need to thank me. One of the reasons I asked you to move in with me is so that it's easier for me to protect you from stalkers and petty suitors. I'm just doing my job here." She gently pats the chestnut colored curls.

Letting out a satisfied sigh, Shizuru sits up and resumes her favorite pondering pose. "Would it be wrong for me to look forward to the date now?"

Natsuki's eyebrows draw closer together in concern. "What if for some reason I'm not around and you can't fend off his advances? Aren't you worried about that?"

"If all else fails, I'll just follow your example." Innocent smile.

"What do you mean?" She narrows her eyes.

"Kick him in the balls." Evil smirk.

"The famous Fuka University student council president engaging in acts of violence?" Natsuki fakes a gasp as she places her palm on her chest. With an equally devious grin, she leans back on her chair and takes a long hard look at her best friend. "I think I can get used to that."

Traces of last night's awkwardness and uneasiness evaporate in thin air. The Kuga-Fujino household is once again filled with laughter and mirth.

TBC.

----Omake begins----

Kenta: Hey bro, do you mind if I bring a girl and tag along to your date this Sunday? _Please say yes. Yes, yes, yes …_

Jun: Wait, how do you even know I have a date?

Kenta: Uh … _Lie out of your ass! _C'mon, it's all over your face. You've been glowing all day. _Ew! My brother glowing? That's disgusting._

Jun: Really? It's that obvious? By the way, the answer is no. The rightful heiress of the Fujino Empire is not like the random skanks on the street. I don't want you to screw up my date.

Kenta: Help me out just this once, will ya? My girl is hella hot but super shy, and she won't go out with me unless it's a double date. I swear I won't get in your way. _Though I am not making any promises about what Kuga might do to you…_

Jun: Fine, you owe me. By the way, have you been using my pump? Check out the size of your package.

Kenta: (Looks down) Oh, that. I ordered the gear online to protect my manhood. I got an extra set. You want it?

Jun: Are you kidding? Hell no.

Kenta: Don't say I never warned you. The ladies can be cruel.

Jun: Please, who would want to hurt a gentleman like me?

Kenta: (Shakes head) _You'll be surprised…_

----Omake ends----


	7. Face Off

**Title**: Roommates Diary II - Double Date In Hell (Part VII)  
**Author**: ficeler37  
**Note**: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.  
**Rating**: PG  
**Word count**: 1957

**Summary**: Shiznat and the Eto brothers face off in front of Fuka Theatre.

**A/N **: Just when I thought I would finally get to write the scene that made me laugh my ass off, I realized that it's going to take me yet another chapter before I can get to that. Classic ficeler37. Queen of dragged out scenes. Boo ... By the way, after reading Natsuki's appearance description, can you guess which L Word character inspired her look? The people who guess right get an anti-Jun ninja star. Heh. I just realized that this is the first time I wrote a dialogue between four people. Wow, harder than I thought it would be. Keep feeling like I'm unfairly silencing someone. Hopefully things won't get too confusing for you dear readers.

**A/N 2 **: To jooles, midorihitomi, some Jun torture will happen in the next chap, no worries. To AnomolyIdiotic, I know my writing style is unconventional and doesn't flow everyone's boat, so thanks for the support! Kenta is an already a kick-ass ninja, don't ya know? LOL. To Hoppy-Chan, I shall produce more fluff to cheer you on. To renny-chan, don't know how 'messed up' your review was, but you get a gold star for the mayonnaise commercial idea. Natsuki in slow motion? LMAO! To writer-jm, the melody was just a random detail inspired by my own alarm clock. Didn't mean to disturb you, sorry. To kai13, hmmm, otome Shiznat? Tempting. We'll see. (Wink)

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Sunday comes like a warrior, armed with pride and determination, ready to step into the battlefield. Two equally gorgeous girls stand side by side in front of the mirror in their bathroom, each admiring the ensemble that they have picked out for the other. On the left side stands the girl with hair the color of the calmest ocean, right before a tempest. Sporting a tight-fitted black ROCKSTAR t-shirt, a loosely knotted black tie, and ripped long dark blue jeans, Natsuki applies some colorless chapstick to her lips. On the right, with a white V-neck, a denim jacket and a black mini-skirt, Shizuru carefully places her eyeliner and lipstick in the makeup pouch. Battle gear, charged and ready.

As the older girl slips into a pair of black stilettos at the foyer, she looks up at Natsuki, who has just put on her black Converse sneakers and opened the door. "Natsuki, is there a reason you asked me to wear your denim jacket today?"

"Just a precaution." A cryptic grin.

"Against … the summer heat?" Raised eyebrow.

"Let's try to stay indoors in some air-conditioned places. In the mean time, keep it on. The jacket … looks cute on you." Turning her head to hide her blush, Natsuki's last few words came out as a mumble.

"Only because it is yours." With a dazzling smile, Shizuru hooks her arm around Natsuki's and closes the door behind them. "Let the party begin."

---

Outside the Fuka Theatre, two men dressed in completely different styles are standing side by side in front of a movie poster that reads 'Currently showing – House of Horror'. On the left, a young man with short spiky red hair is tapping his feet to the beat of the hip hop music blasting from his headphones. With a red and white horizontal striped polo shirt, baggy jeans and white Nike basketball sneakers, Kenta's appearance poses as a sharp contrast to his brother's. "Seriously, Bro. For Christ's sake, it's Sunday. Why do you have to dress like that?"

Adjusting his collar to allow some air flow into his freshly ironed white dress shirt, a shorter mousy looking man replies, "Kenta, I've told you before. Fujino-san is the rightful successor to Fujino Corporation. Growing up in a traditional and rich family like that, she is not going to show up in casual wear to the date. I guarantee it." Jun takes out a pocket watch from his dark gray plaid pants. Frustrated as he checks the time, he kicks a pebble with his brown crocodile skin shoes. "I hate waiting."

"Chill, man. Being high strung all the time is just going to make your hairline recede faster. Watch out for that widow's peak of yours. Soon it's going to swallow you whole and become your trademark." Kenta shrugs at the fuming man with thinned black hair.

"You mean it's better to live your stress-free life with unstable income and just head bang to western music all day? Guess what, being high strung got me where I am today with a fat bank account and a promising career." Jun retorts in a mocking tone.

"I'm not going into the money versus happiness argument with you again." _Now I remember why I don't like this guy … _A sudden uproar at the end of the street makes Kenta snap his head to the direction of the fangirl squeals. A lazy smile creeps up his face as he realizes the source of the commotion. _Looking good, girls, looking good …_

Following Kenta's glance, Jun also takes notice of the attractive duo. Not only is he surprised to find his date with a denim jacket, which makes him seem overdressed for the day, there is just something about the two girls hooking arms that does not sit well with his stomach. "Well, at least one of our dates is here. Now we just need to wait for your super shy cutie." _Is that blue haired hot chick glaring at me? Whatever. No need to worry about someone who won't stick around for long._

"My date? She's here. You see the girl walking towards us with the black t-shirt and ripped jeans?" _Matching outfit? Nice touch, Kuga._

"Since when do our dates know each other?" _Okay, so the angry hot chick is here to stay … Just great …_

_Time to bust out my acting skills. _"Wait, don't tell me. That hottie in the mini skirt is Fujino-san? No offense, but she's way out of your league." _You still have time to back off, bro._

"Shut up. I'm the perfect man for Fujino-san. I got everything that a woman will ever want and need. As for your date, you think an attractive girl like that is going to fall for you? What do you have to offer, a spray on tattoo everyday?"

_You've really done it this time. When you're crying for help and trying to dodge Kuga's iron fist, I'm gonna be laughing my ass off, you jerk. _"You never know, some girls dig tattoos. Anyways, here they come." Kenta unplugs his headphones and jogs towards the radiant girls who look no worse than the models in fashion magazines. "Took you long enough, Kuga. Good morning, Fujino-san. It's nice meeting you for the first time."

_First time? Oh … I see what you're doing. _"Nice to meet you, too. Eto-kun, right? Natsuki has told me all about you." Putting on her most elegant yet deadly smile, Shizuru tightens her grip on Natsuki and pulls her closer to her body as if declaring the ownership of this cute blue puppy.

"Just call me Kenta." _It's amazing how this woman can kill you with her smile alone. Better establish my friend, not foe status right away. _He coughs out his next words in a whisper. "By the way, I'm on your side, if you know what I mean."

"I'm glad we have an understanding." Shizuru melts the ice behind her gaze.

"Oi, Shizuru. You pull any harder and my arm is going to fall off." Even though her tone is one of annoyance, Natsuki is not making any attempt to push away her capturer, merely shaking her head. "Kenta, is that your brother behind you?" _Why do I feel like I've seen that face before?_

"You see that dorky salary-man walking slowly towards us? Yea, that's him." Before Jun reaches them, Kenta mouths the words 'show no mercy' to Natsuki, then turns around to wave his brother over. "Jun, come meet my sexy date!"

"Ahem." The cold air surrounding the Kyoto beauty is enough to freeze over hell in a second. _Perhaps I should put his name down on my 'to-finish' list._

"Sorry, I'm used to talking this way. It's better than calling Kuga my butt ugly date, right?" With a weak smile, Kenta takes a step back to distance himself from the icy killer intent.

Sensing another dip in temperature, Natsuki quickly silences Kenta with a 'shut-up-now-before-I-kick-you-in-the-nuts' look. "Shizuru, don't mind him. If you mentally block out the stuff that comes out of his mouth, he's actually an okay guy. That being said, can I have the warm and sweet Shizuru back now?" Her fingers softly caress the smooth skin on the back of the other girl's hand.

Shizuru closes her eyes. After banishing the frost in her aura, she turns to Natsuki with a lopsided grin and mischief in the crimson orbs. "Anything for my …"

"Good morning, Fujino-san. What a pleasure to see you again. Nice weather, isn't it?" Jun takes a gentleman bow towards Shizuru, completely ignoring the other two people present.

The arrival of Eto Jun immediately revives the fighting spirit in the ice princess. Natsuki consciously takes a step forward, situating herself as a physical barrier between Shizuru and him. _Just so you wait, Eto Jun. By the end of the date, you'll be sorry you were ever born. _

Shizuru switches back to her professional smile. "Good morning to you, too, Eto-san. My father will be pleased of this gathering."_ Not only was I interrupted during my love declaration, but seriously, does this man only have one pick-up line? _(Ch 2 of the last series first witnesses the birth of Eto Jun, the weather man.) "Allow me to introduce my roommate, this is Kuga Natsuki." The name rolls off her tongue like coated with honey.

"I've heard of you." Natsuki nods in a barely noticeable way, facing her competition with a bored look.

_What an impolite girl. Super shy, my ass. Perfect for that brat Kenta. Wait, Fujino-san said roommate …Oh my god! That's the bitch that made me eat dust with her motorcycle! _"And I remember you." Jun stares at Natsuki in disdain as realization hits.

_Great, now that they've declared war, let's move the bloodbath off the street. _Kenta reaches into his pocket and holds out four movie tickets. "Hey, the movie is about to start. Let's hurry and get us some nice seats." He begins walking towards the theatre before anyone else reacts.

Dragging Natsuki along to the theatre entrance through their hooked arms, Shizuru looks back at Jun suddenly. "May I ask what we are watching today?"

"House of Horror, best horror film in the last decade. If you are too scared to watch certain scenes, you are welcome to use my shoulder." _After sitting through all the showings of this movie yesterday, I know all the bloody scenes by heart. Fujino-san is surely going to be impressed by how fearless I am later. _

Shizuru chuckles softly at the tense muscles under her grip. _Don't you worry, silly Natsuki. There's only one person I'll turn to when I'm scared. _"I will keep that in mind." She flashes a courteous smile at the guy who is still trapped in his heroic daydream.

By the time Jun travels back to reality, Shizuru and Natsuki have already entered the theatre, still joined at the hips. As he watches the two girls giggling at each other's jokes, he can hear the alarm going off in his head. _Kuga Natsuki … I have to find a way to get rid of her. I can't quite put my finger on it right now. But there's just something strange about her and Fujino-san together …_

TBC.

----Omake begins----

Shizuru, Natsuki and Jun are at the concession stand while Kenta is killing time with the ticket boy.

Kenta: How's it going, dude?

Ticket boy: Pretty good. But you seem to be doing better. I saw who you came in with. Hot, hot, hot!

Kenta: To tell you the truth, I'm actually the third wheel.

Ticket boy: Really? Well, more power to the hotties, and sucks for you, man.

Kenta: Nah, I'll live. It's better this way. I'm not interested in getting in the way of true love.

Ticket boy: By the way, I know this movie is rated R and all, but there's really no need to bring a guardian to get in. The theatre doesn't care.

Kenta: Guardian?

Ticket boy: Yea, that balding guy that followed you guys in.

Kenta: Oh, him …

Shizuru, Natsuki, and Jun arrive with drinks in hand.

Ticket boy: (To Jun) Sir, you really don't have to sacrifice your free time and come babysit next time. This theatre is not so strict with the age limit.

Jun: Excuse me, we are on a double date here.

Ticket boy: I'm sorry, sir. You just look so much old …

Jun: More mature, goddamnit!

Jun stomps off to find a seat.

Ticket boy: (To Kenta) Man, your boyfriend is a jumpy one.

Kenta: Right … I gotta go.

Feeling extremely embarrassed, Kenta quickly directs the slightly confused, yet amused girls to their seats.

----Omake ends----


	8. Theatre Showdown

**Title**: Roommates Diary II - Double Date In Hell (Part VIII)  
**Author**: ficeler37  
**Note**: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.  
**Rating**: PG  
**Word count**: 2355

**Summary**: Inside the movie theatre, Jun tries to get closer to Shizuru. Natsuki and Shizuru regroup in the bathroom with an evil plan.

**A/N **: I realized that it has almost been a month since I last updated this story. Sorry ... Many personal things came up recently. But everything is ok now, and I'm ready to write again! As usual, I got too excited describing Shiznat interactions and totally ignored plot advancement. So the theatre sequence is now a two-parter, hehe. This is my longest chapter to date, hope y'all will enjoy it!

**A/N 2 **: Congrats to all who guessed Shane in the reviews! Y'all get kisses from your fav L Word character! To midorihitomi, no puppy Natsuki clinging onto Shizuru for you. Sorry, this is the gory murder mystery type of horror movie that Natsuki is immune to. To renny-chan, Eto Jun needing a man? LOL. Fabulous idea! Btw I'm moving the graceful accident scene to the next chap. To Kai13, I'd love to have a buddy like Kenta too. It'll just make life that much more interesting, hehe. To ThrottaKaze, thanks. I still feel like I have my ups and downs as I write more and more. But hopefully ups more than downs. To Uchiha-chan, I'll never associate you with Jun. Please don't be too disturbed by a mere name. To writer-jm, I've always enjoyed your reviews. You point out so many things. (grin) Always a pleasure to see that someone appreciates my humor. To frina-chan, I share your sentiment about the ball-kicking.

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Jun, being the first person to arrive at his seat, is logically sitting close to the center of the row. While he watches Shizuru take her seat next to him, a conniving smile inadvertently finds itself to his face as he mentally goes through all the moves he plans to put on her during the movie. But as soon as he realizes that Natsuki is sitting next to Shizuru on the other side, an irritated Jun gives Kenta a discreet wink, having no doubt that his blood relative will facilitate a switcheroo. "Kenta, won't you be a gentleman and let Kuga-san take the aisle seat since the air-conditioner is right above her head? I don't think a skimpy little t-shirt is enough for her to fend off the cold air."

_As if you'll get your way … _"Nah, Kuga can take the cold. She's strong. Plus I want the leg room." He smirks at Natsuki who responds with a small smile. With a voice loud enough to be heard by the four of them, Kenta continues in a self mumbling fashion. "Tall people just have needs that the vertically challenged people don't usually think about …"

_Why you … are you trying to imply that I'm … _Jun subconsciously straightens himself at his seat. _A man's worth is not measured by his height, but by the size of his …_

"Ara, the lights are dimming. I guess the movie is finally going to start." Taking advantage of the darkened theatre, Shizuru rests the tip of her nails on Natsuki's knee and traces lazy circles with minimal contact. _C'mon, I know you're ticklish there._

Staring straight ahead at the screen, Natsuki lightly slaps the wrist of the woman whose fingertips are dancing on her knee. _On top of watching out for that moron Eto Jun, do I need to pay attention to your wandering hand too? _She sighs in defeat as she catches a glimpse of Shizuru's smug smile out of the corner of her eye.

Completely missing the display of affection between the two girls, Jun is once again caught up in his daydream. _Hmm … the movie is starting. If I remember correctly, something scary will happen around fifteen minutes into the movie. I will have to put my arm around Fujino-san before that scene comes up. Plan A, executing in exactly five minutes. _He takes a deep breath and rotates his shoulder blades to prepare for the upcoming task.

_Oh no, here comes the yawn trick. _Kenta grimaces at the sight of his brother flexing his shoulder muscles. _Not that he has a chance to begin with, but going old-school is clearly not the way to break out._

Just as Kenta expects, in a matter of few minutes, an exaggerated yawn struggles to come out from the depth of Jun's atrophied and deformed vocal chords, which results in a sound in close resemblance to the wail of a dying cow. _Everything has got to be smooth. Arm extending upward slowly at forty degree angle …_

"Natsuki!" Following a cry of fear, Shizuru buries her head in the crook of Natsuki's neck as Jun's arm is stuck in mid air. Her arms are now wrapped around the younger girl's shoulders.

"Are you okay, Shizuru? What's wrong?" Using her most tender voice, Natsuki tries to placate the trembling girl clung to her for dear life. However, she cannot help but throw a skeptical glance at the movie screen. _Why is she freaking out over a close up on a … plant? _"I know you're not a tree hugger, but what did you …"

"Ladybugs …" A voice as quiet as a cicada's song. _Ladybugs are adorable, but I need an excuse to be close to my Natsuki and be away from the Eto cooties. Yes, that's it, Eto. Bring that arm back down and glue it to your lap. _Shizuru snuggles closer to Natsuki's silky smooth skin to hide her smirk and wait for her silent giggles to subside.

"The bugs are not on the screen anymore. Don't worry, okay?" Mistakenly interpreting the breathiness on her neck as a sign of emotional turmoil, Natsuki reaches out her arm and pulls Shizuru closer to her body by the shoulder, hoping to calm down the Kyoto woman.

_I knew she was trouble when I first laid eyes on her. Damn this Kuga Natsuki! Accomplishing what I wanted to do so effortlessly! _Jun seethes with anger as he tightens his fists on his lap and burns an imaginary hole on the screen ahead with his stare of pure hatred.

Meanwhile, Kenta is observing the trio to his right with an amused grin. _Just when I thought the ticket was too expensive for this crappy horror flick … God, the money is so worth it, just to see the look on Jun's face right now. HAHA!_

When Shizuru finally returns her breathing to the normal pace and sits back straight, Natsuki retracts her arm in a clumsy manner. Immediately the older girl misses the warm contact on her shoulder, but says nothing in response. Once again exposed to the sleazy yawn attack, Shizuru reaches into her purse and takes out a pack of Kleenex, carefully setting up her counter-attack.

For the next few minutes, Jun mentally counts each passing second, not wanting to miss his golden opportunity to calm down a frightened Shizuru. _Only one minute left, it's now or never. _He clears his throat to prepare for his next fake yawn.

Noticing her unwanted companion's action, Shizuru is just about to throw her Kleenex on the floor when she feels a tap on her knee.

"Ne, Shizuru. Do you mind coming with me to the bathroom?" _How I despise those girls that travel to the bathroom in packs. But this is for her sake …_

Even in the darkened space, Shizuru can tell that the owner of that angelic voice is blushing furiously. "Sure, I don't mind." _Those rosy pink cheeks and that little frown. Oh, Natsuki. You're just asking for it. _"Is it that time of the month for you? Do you need some supply from me?" _How can you look so cute and not expect me to tease you?_

"Shizuru!" A harsh whisper. "Whatever. Just come with me." Natsuki stands up and pulls Shizuru up by the hand as well. "Move you feet, Kenta. We are going to the bathroom."

Kenta gets out of his seat to let the girls pass through. "I gotta say. Never thought you were one of THOSE girly girls, Kuga."

Natsuki gives Kenta one of her infamous icy glare. "You thought wrong." With a smile, she stomps on his foot with bone crushing strength.

_This is not how my script goes! My chance to be Fujino-san's fearless protector! _"Hey, you two can't leave now. You're going to miss the part where that dumb blonde gets her head chopped off by Steve!"

"BOO!" "Thanks for ruining the movie, asswipe!" "Shut up!" "Get out of here! I'll take you outside!" A shower of popcorn and candy wrappers befalls the man with the loud mouth as grunts and groans from the crowd fill the theatre.

"Ara, have you seen this movie already, Eto-san? That's perfect, you can tell me about what I miss later. Please excuse me." _Watching the movie before hand is not a crime. But spoiling the movie for everyone is. May you get the proper punishment from the audience. _Shizuru gives Natsuki a slight push towards the back exit.

When the girls enter the bathroom, Natsuki is relieved to see no one in sight. Conjuring the speed of Duran, she shoves Shizuru into the stall furthest from the entrance and locks the door behind them. "We don't have much time. Take off your jacket, Shizuru."

"Is Natsuki going to take me right here and now? Ikezu …" Shizuru bites on her lips with a sensuous grin and playfully pulls on Natsuki's black tie.

"Take what?" Rapid blinking. Then realization hits. "SHIZURU! It's the second time in less than five minutes. Control yourself!" _Why does this woman always know how to get a reaction out of me?_

"You are no fun …" She slips out of her denim jacket with a pout. "What was I supposed to think after being forced into a bathroom stall and asked to undress?"

Natsuki's eyebrow twitches as she pinches the other girl's cheeks with her fingers. "Stop … it …" Almost immediately, a soft whimper from Shizuru drives her to let go. With a sigh of surrender, she snatches the jacket and pulls out a small pouch from her jeans pocket.

"Now my makeup is all ruined. You're such a meanie." Shizuru's pout reappears.

Busy with the task at hand, without looking up, Natsuki replies with the first thought in her mind. "Even with the smeared makeup, you're still the most beautiful woman in the theatre." As a result of giving all her attention to attaching the content of the pouch to the left shoulder area of the denim jacket, she is oblivious to the sweet words that just came out of her mouth.

If Natsuki looks up right now, she will catch a glimpse of a wide-eyed blushing Shizuru. _Natsuki … always full of surprises. _With a smile warm enough to melt the iciest heart, Shizuru rests her head on Natsuki's shoulder as she looks down on the blue haired girl's handiwork. "A booby trap? Just the thing I need."

"Eto Jun will be sorry if he puts his arm around you. I'm glad he hasn't tried anything weird since the movie started." Happy with her masterpiece, Natsuki motions Shizuru over and holds out the jacket in front of her.

Taking the offer, Shizuru slides her arms into the jacket and turns around to face Natsuki. "Oh, but he did try."

"What? When?" With her eyebrows furrowed in disbelief, Natsuki raises her hands, wanting to grab her best friend by the shoulders.

Luckily, Shizuru grips Natsuki by the wrists before she can hurt herself. "Right after his god awful yawn and before the ladybugs showed up on screen."

"Wait a minute, was that all an act? Are you actually scared of ladybugs?" _All that time when I wanted to comfort her and calm her down … I was the biggest idiot!_

"Perhaps." Shizuru leans closer and whispers in the other girl's ear. "The bright colors are quite disturbing, you know."

Suddenly aware of the closeness of their bodies, Natsuki takes a big step back in panic. But with Shizuru's hands still clutching her wrists, her action only serves to make the chestnut haired girl lose her balance. What results is the law of physics taking its toll, till both girls are now leaning on the bathroom wall, with zero distance between their chests.

They can feel the vibration of each other's heartbeat, hear the ragged breathing from each other's lips, and smell that unique body scent on the other that always brings them peace of mind. The air around them becomes stagnant. Each girl is scared to take too deep of a breath in fear of breaking the spell which binds them together, until …

_Oh no, I'm slipping. _Releasing her hold on Natuski, Shizuru removes the burden of her bodyweight from the other girl. _She looks so stiff. I have to come up with something to relax her._ "Ara, did Natsuki's breasts grow bigger recently? Maybe we should stop by the lingerie shop later. I think I need to personally measure your bust size again."

Natsuki rolls her eyes. "Sometimes I think you're addicted to teasing me." She opens the door and walks out of the stall while fixing her black tie. _You are not getting a reaction out of me for the third time while we are still in this theatre. Besides, I'm never going into a changing room with you in a lingerie stop ever again! _

"An addiction?" _I suppose. _Shizuru follows Natsuki out the stall. "Then I guess that makes you my drug lord. How can I kick my addiction when you keep supplying me your cute expressions?"

_So it's my fault that I get teased? _"If I'm your drug lord, shouldn't I get paid for feeding your addiction?"

"If I won't give up my money, will you take my body instead?" A devious smirk.

"Shizuru!" _Damn, I did it again! That's the third time! Take her body? Ahhhhh, these goddamn inappropriate images in my head!!! _"Let's hurry and get back to the movie." Natsuki exits the bathroom in haste.

Even though Natsuki's back is facing her, Shizuru can still witness the rapid change of color on the younger girl's face through the reflection of the side mirrors. _Natsuki, if you're seeking payment for my addiction, just say the word, and you can have my heart, body and soul …_

_The truth is … even without your cute expressions … I still can't keep my eyes off you …_

TBC.

----Omake begins----

Inside the theatre, after Shizuru and Natsuki have left for the bathroom …

An angry buff man walks over to where Kenta and Jun are sitting.

Angry buff man: Hey, was it you who gave away the killer's name?

Jun: No no no, you got the wrong person.

Angry buff man: Really? You sound just like that asshole. You both have a distinctively annoying voice.

Jun: I beg your pardon. My voice is sultry, NOT annoying.

Angry buff man: (speedy question) Who is Steve going to kill next?

Jun: (on reflex) Bitchy brunette. (sweat drop) Uhm, I mean. I don't know?

Angry buff man: Oh, I got you bad, asshole. Step outside with me for a moment.

The angry buff man drags Jun out by his collar.

Jun: Kenta, help!

Kenta: Oh yea, let me get out of the way for you two. I'll make sure nobody takes your popcorn.

Jun: Help, somebody?

Cheers and clapping fill the darkened room.

Jun: Mr. buff guy, aren't you going to miss the movie?

Angry buff man: Ha ha, don't worry. I have you to fill me in on the details later.

Jun: Nooooooo!

----Omake ends----


	9. Natsuki's Traps

**Title**: Roommates Diary II - Double Date In Hell (Part IX)  
**Author**: ficeler37  
**Note**: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.  
**Rating**: PG  
**Word count**: 2475

**Summary**: Jun falls into Natsuki's trap. And of course, your daily dose of Shiznat fluff.

**A/N **: Hey, everyone! Finally an update! Gahhhh, why do I update so slowly nowadays??? Hopefully that won't turn away too many readers. (Sweat drop) I don't think I'll ever abandon the story. I promise there will be a satisfying end to the Shiznat adventure. In the mean time, please bear with the slow updates.

**A/N 2 **:To Shiznat, hopefully most readers think like you and won't mind the slow plot development. To kai13, sadly Natsuki won't be getting laid in the near future in this fic. But I agree with you, she needs to let some steam out. To mf, we'll see for how long I can keep on being inspired by the god of Shiznat, hehe. To writer-jm, as usual, reading your review is basically as amusing as actually reading a Shiznat fanfic. LOL! To Alix, why would a brawler icon fit me? I'm a pretty quiet person in general … To Kruger, look here! Come back from space! To chatterbox, a mouse trap on Shizuru's shoulder? That would be a bit too obvious. We gotta be sneaky! To Renny-chan, ahhhh, get that image of angry smex out of my mind!!! Smex and Jun just don't mix well. Btw, I'm glad you didn't die from the choking. That would make me sad. To jam-chan, I understand that the review was an update request? Heh. To Hoppy-chan, you're always welcome to come back to me to obtain some Shiznat love love power! To Meh, hopefully the FU scenario won't happen to our beloved Kaichou-sama!

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By the time Shizuru and Natsuki get back inside the darkened room, they are surprised to see an empty seat covered in popcorn where Eto Jun should be. But neither of them is about to complain, so they return to their seats like his inexistence is the most natural thing in the world. Meanwhile, Kenta just smiles briefly at his favorite girls, and then returns his attention to the movie in front of them.

As we all know, good times never last forever. Twenty minutes of peaceful viewing is brought to an end by a loud metallic clash at the back of the theatre. Lord and behold, it is a fuming Jun literally pushing his way back to his seat, the first victim being the heavy doors separating the theatre from the concession stand area. Without a doubt, hisses and boos permeate the dimly lit space once again.

"Welcome back, Mr. Popular. By the way, your popcorn is exactly where you left it." Kenta flashes a cheerful smile at his beloved brother and retracts his legs to let him get through. _Damn, he looks like someone just took a piss on his creepy clown collection. I wonder what that guy did to him. Maybe he took Jun to the back of the parking lot and forced him to …_

"Thank you so much for not watching my back. I just lost a big chunk of my paycheck, my dear worthless brother." With an unsteady voice due to his boiling anger, Jun whispers at Kenta for fear of tainting his economically-well-off image in front of Shizuru.

"Lucky you. People say that the best kind of problem is one that can be solved by money." _Woo hoo, how I revel in your misery! _"On the bright side, at least you know exactly what happened in the movie while you were out there."

"Oh, shut up." After Jun gets past Kenta, he tries to make eye contact with Shizuru, but the Kyoto beauty's eyes seem to focus on everywhere but him. With a defeated sigh, he sits down and starts to plan his next course of action. _I didn't climb to my current spot in the law firm by being someone who gives up whenever he hits a brick wall. Fujino-san, I WILL hold you in my arms. I swear in the name of my manhood! _Tiny fireballs erupt in the depth of his clouded charcoal eyes.

Ever since the reappearance of the pest of the day, Natsuki has been sneaking glances sideways to make sure that everything is under control and that none exceeds her expectation. Taking notice of Jun's shoulder roll, she scoffs with a menacing grin. _Play with fire and you'll be burned. Live and learn, Eto Jun._

Moments later, a symphony of screams fill the confined area, music weaved by the high pitch soprano from the bloody B-listed actresses on screen and the rumbling low roar from the guest bass Jun, who is currently cradling his injured middle finger.

"What is the matter, Eto-san? Are you alright?" Though her tone may be soft and tender, the glare reflected in the crimson orbs betrays her insincerity and mirth. _I can always count on my princess in shining armor to punish those who try to get too close to me._

Enclosed in shadows that obscure all hostility, Jun is of course unaware of Shizuru's dark side. "What is on your shoulder? Something stung me!" _Shit! The blood is about to drip from my finger and stain my nice plaid pants!_

Natsuki chooses this precise moment to chime in. "Shizuru, how many times do I have to tell you that it's dangerous to put your Bleach suzumebachi pin on your shoulder? Thank god it's not you who got hurt this time." (Bleach reference: Suzumebachi is the bee-stinger-shaped weapon of Soi Fon, yet another shoujo-ai character!) Natsuki covers the older girl's hand gently in mock caring. _Think about how Shizuru summons her acting ability to fake cry …_

Shizuru sticks out her tongue mischievously. "But the pin looks so cute with the denim jacket, and I have been careful not to touch my left shoulder today. Natsuki, please don't be annoyed …" She uses her free hand to stroke Natsuki's arm lovingly while wearing a smile as sweet as fresh honey from a bee hive.

_Hello! Pay attention to the wounded person here! Maybe Fujino-san will tend to my cut if I act like I'm in pain … _"Ow, it really hurts. The gash looks pretty deep." _What's weird is that I didn't notice the pin when we first met up outside the theatre … Forget it, my psychiatrist told me to stop being so paranoid all the time. I should listen to her._

To Jun's surprise, it is Natsuki who is responding to his wimpy cry of attention. "Eto, I gotta say, you're quite the gentleman for taking the hit for Shizuru." _Quit your whining, you pig head. Nobody is going to baby you for that tiny drop of blood. _Using every fiber of her being to stop herself from gagging, her mouth quivers in attempt to form a small natural smile.

_Okaaaaaay, since when did she get a soul and become nice? Perhaps I misjudged her character earlier … _"Well, it's nothing intentional. I'm glad to have protected Fujino-san from hurting herself." He looks intently at Shizuru with a confident nod.

Natsuki can hear a vein popping on her forehead. _NO, YOU DIDN'T PROTECT HER! The only protection Shizuru needs is from YOU! _"To say thank you, let me offer you the band-aid I always keep in my pocket in case of emergency." _I can do this. Hold the smile just a few seconds more! _With great difficulty, she elevates the corner of her lips to a new height.

_Accepting her compliment is one thing, but do I really want to take her band-aid? _Jun's sixth sense is reacting to the killer intent emitting from the blue haired girl.

_I'm not sure what Natsuki has in store, but her oh-so-sincere offer is probably not enough to push Eto over the edge._ _Time for the tag team play … _"Ara, how nice of Natsuki. Eto-san, would you like me to put the band-aid on for you?" _No ordinary man can reject me, ho ho._

The combined bright glow from Shizuru's halo and her angelic smile shatters Jun's sixth sense in a matter of nano-seconds. "Only if it's not too much trouble. Thank you, Fujino-san." An eerie shade of rouge covers his face. _Yes! My plan for Fujino-san to play nurse with me worked! Just seconds before her baby soft skin makes contact with my hand … _Jun subconsciously stops breathing in anticipation.

As Natsuki hands Shizuru the band-aid, the older girl gives a discreet wink as if to confirm that all is going according to plan. _Smashing his finger with my fist is certainly an amusing option, but too out of character on my part. Let's just see what happens after I put the band-aid on his finger. I trust Natsuki …_

A sharp intake of breath. "GOD, IT STINGS!" Mammoth size beads of sweat immediately roll off Jun's forehead.

"Don't be such a baby. The sting is normal. This is a new product in the market, anti-bacterial gel placed underneath the cloth. If you feel the pain, then the band-aid is doing its job." Natsuki explains with a straight face. _Ha! Who's the sucker now?_

_I need to peel off the band-aid right away before my finger rots to the bone! _Jun begins to pick at the edge of the adhesive bandage.

"Eto-san, did I not do a decent job of applying the band-aid? Please allow me to adjust its position for you." With her famous elegant smile, Shizuru begins to work her magic.

Succumbing to the glorious prowess that is Shizuru's effortless ability to persuade once again, Jun can only twinge in irregular intervals while trying to maintain a dignified façade. Needless to say, for the rest of the movie, he has kept his arm to himself. No awkward shoulder roll. No distracting monstrous clearing of throat. Thus the movie viewing experience draws to a close in relative calmness …

---

On their way to stroll out of the theatre, a blushing Natsuki turns to Shizuru. "Ne, I need to stop by the bathroom. Would you prefer coming with me or waiting for me outside with the Eto brothers?" The question is a rhetorical one. Taking into account that the Etos are within earshot distance, Natsuki is too embarrassed to directly request Shizuru's presence in the bathroom for the second time today after Kenta's snarky comment. At the same time, leaving Shizuru with Eto Jun is even more out of the question.

_Of course there is only one right answer. _"Sure, I'll go with you. I need to touch up my makeup anyways."

"You and your bladder of a tadpole. Why do you need to go so often?" Kenta cocks his head at Natsuki. "Make it quick. If I hear any more comments about my boy-friend, I'm going to start hitting people." (Recall the omake of a previous chapter.)

Natsuki just glares at Kenta. _If I don't have to pee so badly, I'll give you a beating myself! _"Let's go, Shizuru." She shoves her hands into her jeans pockets and quickly walks away, expecting her best friend to follow close behind.

As Shizuru saunters past Kenta, she lowers her voice so that Kenta is the only one who can hear her. "If you insist on teasing Natsuki constantly, I'll be obliged to show you the consequence of crossing a Fujino. Keep that in mind next time you open your mouth. Natsuki is mine to tease, not yours." Crimson eyes darken to the color of blood as Shizuru delivers her threatening speech.

"Yes, m'am. I heard you loud and clear." Immediately Kenta stands up straight like a meter stick and salutes the Kyoto beauty. As he watches her walk away, he has the feeling of a razo-sharp knife being lifted from his neck. _Phew, that was close. Dude bro, you are so fucking insane to go after Kuga's girl. If Kuga can break you in half with her bare hands, then this woman can make you blood boil and self combust spontaneously with her eyes!_

"Kenta, what did Fujino-san say to you?" Jun stares at his brother with a quizzical look. _Why would Fujino-san talk to my loser brother and not me? Damn, my finger is still killing me …_

"Man, you don't want to know …" A drop of cold sweat slides down the side of Kenta's face.

---

Soon after the girls finish their respective business in the bathroom, Natsuki and Shizuru are now walking shoulder to shoulder towards the theatre exit.

_Not that I'm complaining about all the cute girls in the bathroom, but it's such a shame that I couldn't have a private moment with my Natsuki in one of the stalls. _Shizuru lets out a sigh.

"What's wrong?" With concern in her eyes, Natsuki tugs lightly at Shizuru's sleeve.

_Natsuki will probably yell at me if she finds out what I was thinking about, ho ho. _"It's nothing. By the way, where did you get that band-aid? I've never heard of such a product." Shizuru raises an eyebrow at the other girl.

"It was manufactured right in the Fujino-Kuga kitchen. Ingredients include a regular band-aid, lots of ill will, and last but not least, two spoonfuls of tabasco sauce."

"My, oh my, you're such a naughty girl." Shizuru brings up her hand, wanting to pinch the blue haired girl's cheek jokingly.

"I learn from the best." Adding an extra bounce in her steps, Natsuki takes a small leap forward to dodge the attack. She then turns around and gives Shizuru a smug smile.

Shizuru looks at the younger girl in an adoring fashion. "You know, I'm impressed how you got Eto Jun twice in a row. When did my Natsuki get so clever?"

"Being a Bleach fan, it's only common knowledge that Soi Fon's opponents die instantly if she stings them on the same spot twice with her weapon. Plus it's not my fault if Eto was too blind to notice that the band-aid I gave him had a bright red center."

"I think we have a verdict. Clearly, Eto-san is the only one at fault." Shizuru leans her cheek on her palm and nods affirmatively.

"Damn straight." Natsuki winks with a conspiring smirk. "So what now? Where are we going next?"

"Is there anywhere Natsuki would like to go?"

"I don't care. No matter where we go, it's not like Eto Jun is going to drop off the face of the Earth or evaporate in thin air."

"Then … let's visit the place I part-time!" Sparks start dancing in Shizuru's eyes.

"What? No way!" _I still remember the last time you followed me into the changing room! _"Pick somewhere else!"

"Oops, too late. I sent Eto an email yesterday letting him know that we'll drop by my work place after the movie." Shizuru sticks out her tongue at Natsuki, whose forehead veins are now pulsing rapidly.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" _Kill me now!!!_

TBC.

----Omake begins----

Kenta and Jun are waiting for the girls outside the theatre. They spot a coffee stand near them.

Jun: I'm going to get some coffee. You want anything?

Kenta: Nah, you go ahead. But seriously, don't you think you've been jumpy and loud enough while we were watching the movie? Do you really need more caffeine?

Jun: Shut up! Mind your own business!

Jun walks over to the coffee stand and looks at the menu. As he contemplates what he is about to order, he scratches his temple out of habit.

Jun: Alright. I've made my decision. Can I get a decaf single shot …

Coffee stand owner: Sir, did you just flick me off?

Jun: What? That's absurd! I didn't do that.

Jun grabs the cylindrical sugar container and slams it on the counter in anger.

Coffee stand owner: But sir, you just did it again. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

Jun: Can't a man get his coffee fix? What's wrong with you?

The coffee stand owner yells "Security!" in the direction of the theatre.

Jun quickly runs back to Kenta.

Kenta: Uhm … I know I'm not your favorite person in the world. But dude, why are you giving me the finger?

Jun: Why does everyone keep saying that? I'm not …

Jun looks down at his hand. Apparently, the pain on his middle finger has numbed his senses. For the first time, Jun notices that his bandaged finger has gone stiff and is sticking out in an upright manner.

A very amused Kenta witnesses the birth of Jun, the stone statue.

----Omake ends----


	10. Women's Secret

**Title**: Roommates Diary II - Double Date In Hell (Part X)  
**Author**: ficeler37  
**Note**: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.  
**Rating**: PG  
**Word count**: 1961

**Summary**: Shizuru, Natsuki, Kenta and Jun run into a stressed out store owner in the lingerie shop.

**A/N 1: **After what seems like forever, there is finally an update for my super long Shiznat saga! If you don't remember the story and don't feel like reading the latest chapter, I don't blame you. Cuz seriously, I had to go to my livejournal to refresh my memory while I wrote the story tonight. If you're looking for Shiznat interaction in this chapter, well, it's not like there's none, but the next chapter is probably going to be the cream of the crop. Mwa ha ha ha ...

**A/N 2: **To Meh, it took me a while to find that typo you mentioned, but it's worth it. Thanks! To Alix, thank you for the vocab lesson. Brawler pride! To Pretend2besome1, I honestly believe that no men, women, children, elderly peeps ... (the list goes on forever) can reject Shizuru. To kruger, LOL for the "One. Eye. Open." imagery. (helps wash the mush away) To renny-chan, hmmm, a western showdown between Jun and Natsuki? Jun is so going to be shot on the crotch, haha. To writer-jm, respect points for Jun? Oh, negative ones, gotcha, hehe. As for the honey metaphor, it was just a Soi-Fong inspiration. You know, last week I would have said that I've never been to the South, but yesterday I just realized that I technically live in the South!!! Good guess on the hot sauce btw. To Shiznat, judging from the speed of my recent updates, the end is going to take a while to come. To chatterbox-hikaru13, don't worry, there'll be lots more Jun torture coming your way. Kenta's a good guy. He just has ways to get into trouble with Shizuru while having good intentions in his mind, heh.

**A/N 2.5: **To AnomolyIdiotic, wow, thanks for the analysis, it was a pleasure to read it. Natsuki attacking Jun crazy kung-fu style? LOL! I'll keep that in mind as I write more. You're right about Jun. I don't think much about his character development. Hmm, gotta put my personal hatred aside first next time I portray him. You've raised some valid questions concerning Shizuru's father's reaction. Honestly I haven't thought much about it at this point, but I can assure you that this issue will be dealt with in the end. Yup, romantic comedy is what I'm going for! To CrystalICE1, a belated welcome to the Shiznat community! To coorei, don't get busted for reading instead of working, hehe. To everyone else, thank you for your support!

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"As I have mentioned in the email reply, I'd be honored to visit your work place, Fujino-san." Cracking his lips as wide as possible under the sun, Eto Jun tries to show off the amazing effect of his overnight bleaching. Meanwhile, a popcorn kernel is saying hello to the world from the crack between Jun's front teeth.

_People with bad breath should not be opening their mouths that wide._ Natsuki furrows her brows in disgust at the sight. _On the other hand, bringing Eto to the lingerie shop should be very interesting …_

"My father always says that you can tell a lot about someone by examining this person's work environment. Perhaps this will be a good chance for you to get to know me better." With her courteous mask firmly in place, Shizuru can barely hide the twinkle in her eyes. _Soon Eto will realize that my hobby is feeling up girls while helping them pick out the perfect combo of bra and panties. Hopefully he will be smart to see that I prefer scantily dressed girls over snobby balding men._

"Kuga, do you know where we are heading?" Kenta shoves his hands in his jeans pockets casually and asks in a nonchalant manner. _Seeing how Kuga and her girlfriend have been messing with my bro so far, there is no way our next destination can be anything ordinary._

The girl in the black rock star t-shirt sighs and lowers her voice so that only Kenta can hear her. "Let's just say that it is a place where Shizuru's unusual tendency will be revealed." Natsuki rolls her eyes at Kenta's quizzical look in response.

In a matter of minutes, the four of them are standing in front of a lavishly painted bright pink establishment. The words 'Women's Secret' are scripted in gold at the top of the entrance. Some might interpret the eye-catching aspect of the sign as an irony to the clandestine nature of the lingerie store's name. Looking back at the visitors, their facial expressions range from dumbfounded and surprised to amused and skeptical.

Walking ahead the rest of the group with confident strides, Shizuru welcomes the fresh cool scented air greeting her through the broadening gap of the sliding glass doors. As she lets her fingers caress the closest rack of lacy bras, she twists her head just enough to flash a lazy smile at everyone near the entrance. "Welcome to my domain. Feel free to look around."

Unsure of where to lay his eyes for fear of being mistaken as a pervert, Jun stares with all his might at the thick pink carpet at his feet. "Fujino-san, are you sure we are at the right place?" _Oh my god, did I just bump into the wife of a potential client at the door?!_

"There is no mistake. I work at this lingerie shop after school a couple times a week. Is there a problem?" _Looks like the woman with the horrified facial expression seems to be acquainted with Eto Jun. Should I feel bad about ruining his reputation? Hm … in Natsuki's lingo - fat chance, hehe. _

If Jun raises his head at this precise moment, his superficial image of the forever gracious Fujino Shizuru will be crushed by her evil smug look. But in reality, his gaze is glued to the ground. "To be honest, I'm a little surprised. I was expecting something a little more …" _Proper? No, I'm not a nagging grandma. Intellectual? But I don't want Fujino-san to think that I'm insulting her intelligence! _Beads of frustration form on Jun's forehead as he struggles to come up with the appropriate word.

Just when Kenta wants to change the subject to help his brother get out of the embarrassing situation, a booming voice from the back of the store beats him to the punch. "Shizuru-san, thank god you are here!" Everyone turns to the source of the voice and finds a middle-aged woman dressed in a red curve-hugging one-piece mini dress and matching red stilettos walking towards them in quick steps.

"Good afternoon, Minami-san." Shizuru smiles courteously at her employer. "Is everything okay?" _It's so rare to see her in such a distraught state._

"I feel so bad for crashing your little party here, but will it be possible for me to borrow you and one of your friends for an hour? This is an emergency. I'll give you a big bonus in next week's paycheck." In one single breath, Minami rapidly lays out her request.

"An hour of my time is not a big deal. However, could you tell me exactly what you need my help for and which one of my friends you are interested in borrowing?" _Referring to Eto Jun as my friend makes me want to gag …But seeing how stressed out Minami-san is, I'll let it slide just this once …_

"Of course, how stupid of me." Minami clears her throat and looks at Shizuru solemnly. "I need you to be the lingerie model for this month's special merchandise catalogue."

"What? I don't want Shizuru to show her body to a bunch of random strangers!" As soon as Natsuki realizes the possessive tone of her outburst, all the blood in her body rushes uncontrollably to her head. _Note to self – Shizuru is NOT mine. She can do whatever she pleases! But just imagining how everyone can have the privilege of witnessing those masterfully designed bra and panties hug her perfectly shaped naked body is so … wrong! I have to stop thinking about Shizuru like this!_

Before Shizuru can reach out for Natsuki's hand to calm down her adorable best friend, Kenta has given Natsuki's shoulder a firm squeeze and an understanding grin. In response, the ice princess becomes visibly more relaxed than before. Unbeknownst to both Kenta and Natsuki, Kenta has gradually joined the tiny list of males to whom Natsuki has warmed up.

Shizuru retracts her hand. Even knowing full well that Kenta is on her side, she still has a hard time ignoring that sharp pang of jealousy entering her heart. Nevertheless, years of habit prevent Shizuru from showing any signs of emotional ripple in her chest. _Natsuki is not the lonely antisocial child I first met anymore. I need to get used to her making new friends … even if it means that we'll be spending less time together in the future …_

_I don't like the sad look in her eyes. _"Shizuru?" _If she thinks she can fool the whole world with that perfect smile, she has underestimated me. _Natsuki smoothly places her palm on the small of Shizuru's back. _Feel my touch? I'm right here with you._

Words are superfluous to spell out the bond between them. Shizuru bends her arm back to clasp the slightly callous hand on her back. The warmth of Natsuki's hand travels up the length of Shizuru's body and returns gentleness to the crimson orbs. The two girls share a meaningful glance as they tighten their grips on each other.

Meanwhile, Jun is lost in the fantasy of Shizuru striking provocative poses, dressed in the undergarments being sold in the racy corner of the store. Kenta looks over at his brother in disgust. Without warning, he stomps on Jun's right foot and leaves a dusty footprint on his brother's leather shoe.

"Ow! What did you do that for?" _Damn it, Mother spent an hour shining my shoes last night!_

"You know, I could have sworn I saw a cockroach. I was only trying to scare it away to save its life. Your drool almost hit it. Cockroaches deserve love and respect, too." The self-proclaimed insect lover shrugs his shoulder with a mischievous smirk.

Not wanting to make a scene, Jun only growls at Kenta's nonsense. _It already takes a hundred percent of my attention to give Fujino-san a perfect impression of me. I don't have any spare energy to deal with my idiotic useless brother!_

Minami scrutinizes the four people in her store. With her twenty years of experience in the lingerie fashion industry, she still cannot figure out the exact relationships between them after studying their strange dynamics. At first the biological match of two girls and two guys seems to scream 'double date'. But after taking a look at that unattractive daydreaming guy, Minami quickly dispels that theory. _Either one of these girls is too good for that guy. He's probably just here to pay cash or carry shopping bags._

_So maybe the hip looking guy is one of the girls' boyfriend. But which one? He seems to be getting along more with the blue haired girl. On the other hand, that girl has quite a protective streak for Shizuru-san. There is also some intense vibe going on between those two. Oh my, is this a love triangle? Did I just get sucked into a day time soap opera?_

"Minami-san, before I agree to anything, would you mind telling me the whole story? You never mentioned anything about the catalogue when I was working the other day." Shizuru's voice puts an end to the rambling thoughts in Minami's head.

"Surely you must know that we print out an annual special merchandise catalogue where we invite the most popular photographer at the time to be in charge of the photo shoot. This year we have Mr. Armani, who just won a prestigious international fashion photographer award last week. He has set up all his equipment at the back of the store right now, waiting for the models to arrive. In two hours, he needs to be over at the Narita Airport to board a flight to Italy for another award ceremony. Imagine my horror when I got a last minute phone call about my models being hospitalized for food poisoning this morning. Please, Shizuru-san, you are my last hope!"

"I see. We do have a situation at hand. You still haven't told me why you need one of my friends?" _Never say yes to anything before you know all the details._

"Mr. Armani is very particular with his work. He requests exactly two models. In our concept meeting, we have already discussed the different poses using a male model and a female model. I was thinking about asking one of your male companions …"

"Minami-san." The tone of Shizuru's voice effortlessly demands everyone's attention. "I will help out with the merchandise catalogue under one condition."

"And that is?" _A raise?_

"I only wish to work with my friend Natsuki in the photo shoot." Anyone can tell that there is no room for negotiation by the way Shizuru is speaking.

"Hey!" _Don't I get a say in this?_

"Done." Before Natsuki can declare her opposition, Minami has already started dragging the two girls by their sleeves towards the back of the store. "One more thing, Natsuki-san." Without slowing down her walking speed, Minami turns to the startled younger girl.

_Oh god, I have a bad feeling about this. _"Yes?"

"I hope you don't mind being topless."

"Excuse me?!?!?!" _I knew it was a mistake to show up here!_

TBC.

----Omake begins----

Two men are abandoned inside the lingerie shop.

Jun: So … (fiddles thumb)

Kenta: Yes? (raised eyebrow)

Jun: Nice weather, eh?

Kenta: Bro, you're not trying to pick me up, are you?

Jun: What? (blush) You wish. My heart belongs to Fujino-san.

Kenta: Ha, and I can see how much she's into you. (fakes kissing face)

Outside the store …

Little girl: Mommy, look at the misters next to your favorite underpants!

Woman: Don't look! Hentai! (covers little girl's eyes)

Little girl: What are they doing? I thought you said only women go in there.

Woman: At second glance, maybe they are just gay. Let's keep walking.

----Omake ends----


	11. Photo Shoot I

**Title**: Roommates Diary II - Double Date In Hell (Part XI)  
**Author**: ficeler37  
**Note**: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.  
**Rating**: PG  
**Word count**: 1643

**Summary**: Shizuru and Natsuki have a date with fancy lingerie.

**A/N 1: **I hope everyone had a nice summer! I certainly did. If people have questions about credit scores, ask me! That was my big project of the summer, hehe. I have a confession to make - the cliffhanger in the last chapter actually alludes to a scene in the NEXT chapter. Again, my fault for being wordy and making the story progress at a snail's pace. I know that the length of this update is sub-par, but I promise that the next chapter will appear in the VERY near future. Oh, and there will be a special guest(s) appearance in the omake. Enjoy!

**A/N 2: **To midorihitomi, hanging out with his brother can only mean trouble for Kenta. I shall continue to beat that yaoi romance joke with a stick. To glowie and fan-rei, there will probably be soapy scenes coming up, heh. To moonslights, coming is such a nicer word than going. To shiznats, greatpumpkin81,and rc, the topless Natsuki will have to wait, sorry … To Sugador, yes, the brothers are merely spices. To Shiznat, two months is not a short time, I admit. But the next update won't take as long, I swear. To chatterbox-hikaru13, Kenta is indeed the perfect buffer to create shiznat interaction. I like how you typed the n word, heh. To kikyo4ever, I'm sure deep down, Natsuki is the type of person who will peek at a naked Shizuru between the cracks of her fingers, versus Shizuru who will just scan Natsuki's naked body like an x-ray machine.

**A/N 2.25: **To renny-chan, it's more like Jun treats her mom like a maid in my setting. Snobbiness is one of his many sins. Shizuru will probably not be topless since she has to wear the merchandise, heh. To volk83, noooo, leave my Wii alone! To OO, your name matches so perfectly with your review. Here, have some Kleenex. To SychoBabblex, Natsuki will of course disapprove of Shizuru's touchy ways. I guess the only solution is for Natsuki to glue Shizuru's hands on her own body. To Naolin, hurray, I'm still alive! Should I be a good writer and turn Jun into a more 3D character by giving him redeeming qualities? Hmmm … nah. Typos, typos, go away!

**A/N 2.5: **To kttykiwi, I can imagine Natsuki making a bargain about snatching some bras and undies. LOL on Minami's line!!! To writer-jm, the drama CD says Shizuru works at a lingerie store, so I shouldn't take credit for that plot device, heh. I'm going to milk this locale as much as possible. To Lone Voice, Natsuki won't always be clueless … I hope. To anon, it's certainly entertaining to imagine how Shizuru will commit crimes just to hog all the lingerie photos, but for the continuity of the series' sake, the scene shall be played out in my head and not in writing. To Alix, (happy sigh), Shizuru, our favorite resident pervert. To lurk-a-lot, oh, Jun's face WILL connect with something rock solid later.

**A/N 2.75: **To jam-chan, I hope the cream of the crop is not stale by now. To Azn-anime, wow, you left so many reviews in such a short period of time. Kudos to you. Yes, it's true that Shizuru works in a lingerie shop according to the Drama CD. To SharonSuh, RDII is the latest (the 4th) addition in my Shiznat saga. The 1st one is "The Challenge". To scoobz87, ChieH, Darkredeyes, Wolfblaze, Tenshi No Tsume, S, moonfreckle, darkangel714, theshiznat, and kitten320, thanks for reviewing. (grin)

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_Who the hell is this guy?_ Numerous question marks emerge from Natsuki's back as she twitches at the tall slender man in a flashy silver suit. But what makes her speechless is probably the moving wall of fresh roses on wheels that seems to follow that man's every step. _How much does he pay his assistants to push around that cheesy background decoration all day?_

"Mr. Armani, our models have arrived." Minami takes a humble bow in front of this year's hottest photographer in the fashion industry.

"Ah, Signorina Minami. What great timing, I just finished setting up the station. Now, who do we have here?" The suave middle-aged man falls silent as he scrutinizes Shizuru and Natsuki with a pensive smirk.

_I did not sign up to be stared at, especially not from a weirdo like him. Shizuru is not meat in the market! _Natsuki takes a step forward and uses her body to shield Shizuru from Armani's intrusive gaze.

_This is why I don't like dealing with eccentric artists. Manners are not what they are known for … On the bright side, it is always delightful to play the powerless maiden in need of protection in front of Natsuki, ho ho. However, for Minami-san's sake, there is still business to be done. _"It is a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Armani. My name is Fujino Shizuru and this is my friend Kuga Natsuki."

In response to the introduction, Armani only gives a barely noticeable nod and proceeds to resume his fixation on the two girls in silence.

The awkward atmosphere permeating the room makes Minami rub her hands together nervously. _Even though Shizuru-san and Natsuki-san are gorgeous, I should have known that it is still bad business to diverge from what we have already agreed in the concept meeting._ "I apologize for the …"

"I love it! You're a darling, Signorina Minami. That is exactly the edge that I'm looking for!" Armani grabs Minami by her shoulders and gives her a passionate kiss on the cheek. "Now my beautiful ladies, please get dressed promptly. My assistants will show you the various outfits that will make an appearance in the catalog. Butch girl, you go to the left dressing room and doll face, the right one."

"Who are you calling …" Before Natsuki can scream out the rest of her sentence, she is knocked off balance by extended arms. By sheer undisputable laws of physics, the fuming girl stumbles into her dressing room.

_Forgive me, Natsuki-san. The job must go on. _The lingerie shop owner lets out a breath that she has been holding since they arrived.

"Oh yea, a definite butch. She might not look it, but the essence is there." Armani proudly enlightens one of his assistants with his assessment.

_Uhm, what is this feeling of being thrown into an ice dungeon? _Minami turns around and makes eye contact with a smiling Shizuru, who has taken a short pause before stepping behind the curtains. _How come I never noticed how threatening Shizuru-san's smile could be?_

Five minutes later, Natsuki walks out in black denim baggy jeans and a white wife-beater. _This isn't so bad. I mean, the floor is a bit cold, but whatever. Minami-san was probably on crack when she told me I had to be topless. What's taking Shizuru so long?_

"Miss me much?" A few feet over, Shizuru struts forward in a silky pearl color flyaway babydoll dress and matching silk panties. The front slit of the dress located below the breasts conveniently shows off her firm stomach attributed to a lifetime of balanced diet.

"Ahhhh, what are you wearing???" Green orbs dart around rapidly following an incoherent route, more specifically, everywhere but on the Kyoto woman's body.

"Catalogue merchandise. What else?" Shizuru smirks innocently while tiptoeing closer to the younger girl whose body is turning stiff like a stick.

"Kuga-san …" After a polite warning on Minami's part, Armani now addresses both his models properly by their last names. "Please take your bra off."

"Are you trying to mess with me?" _You think MY limited collection bra is too cheap to show itself in the catalogue?_

"Professionally speaking, I'm going for the androgynous look here, and the bra makes you too feminine. So would you please do as I say so that we can start shooting?"

"But …" _My nipples will be showing! _"I thought these were not supposed to be x-rated photos!"

"Oh honey, with my expertise, nothing inappropriate will be included in the photos. We are running an esteemed and legitimate business after all. Of course, it will be a different story if this is for my private collection …"

"Ahem." With a fiery stare that screams "Don't you dare think about it!", Shizuru's battle aura successfully jolts Armani out of his reverie.

"Moving along …" The photographer swallows the lump in his throat, still digesting his first close encounter with death. _Gotta watch out for that doll …_

Meanwhile, Natsuki decides to yield. After performing the long lost art of remove-your-bra-without-taking-off-your-shirt technique, she crosses her arms to cup her unsupported yet perky breasts. _I'm only doing this for Shizuru. That buffoon better keep his word._

"Now, Kuga-san, stand upright and face the white background. Put your hands in your pockets. Just concentrate on the whiteness ahead. Pretend you're an emotionless statue. Nothing in the world can cause a ripple in your heart."

Natsuki complies, silently grateful that with the camera behind her, her unprotected bosoms won't be exposed.

Armani continues to prep his models. "Someone, prepare the fan! Fujino-san, you're the temptress. Go stand next to Kuga-san with your body facing the camera. Turn your head towards Kuga-san …"

_Easy enough. Awww, the fan is making my Natsuki cold. Look how "they" are all hard …_

"Damn it, Shizuru. Stop staring at my chest!" Natsuki growls without turning her head. _As if I'm not self-conscious enough!_

"Only doing what I was told." With a sheepish grin, Shizuru whispers back matter-of-factly.

"Fujino-san, please pick up a handful of Kuga-san's hair and hold the bundle close to your heart. Try to look like you're longing for something that you cannot have."

Shizuru chuckles to herself. _Wow, this is bringing back so many memories. The days when I would stroke her hair in secret … _Reaching out to feel the softness of the blue hair that reminds her of the steady and forgiving ocean, she tries not to let the bleak future of her unrequited love push her to tears.

The sudden shift in mood did not escape Natsuki. Perhaps it is primal animal instinct, or perhaps it is the mysterious ability for pets to sense their owners' mental condition. _Either Shizuru is talented enough to win the Academy Awards, or something is really bothering her …_

"You're phenomenal, Fujino-san. Extraordinary expression." Incessant and rhythmic camera sound. Finally Armani brings himself up from the crouching position in front of his camera on a tripod. "Good job, everyone. Kuga-san can stay put. Fujino-san, please change into your next outfit."

_How immature of me to lose my usually calm countenance in front of Natsuki. I must regroup fast while I change. _As Shizuru releases the handful of beautiful blue hair and starts to pull away, an arm across her bare midriff takes her by surprise.

"Don't take the photo shoot so seriously. Let's relax and have some fun." In her mind, Natsuki had played out the scene plentiful times where she would deliver her lines with a confident smile. But in reality, the shy girl ends up giving her advice to the spotless floor, mostly due to the revealing nature of Shizuru's accoutrement.

The temptress of the hour leans closer to speak softly in Natsuki's ear. "Your hand sure seems like it's having a blast." _How cute! She was so nervous that she kept rubbing my tummy without noticing._

"Wha … AHHHH!" Natsuki retracts her hand so quickly that she almost sprains her arm. _This woman can be so infuriating! _"Just … hurry back, it's cold out here." _At least she is back to her old self …_

With a devilish grin, Shizuru swiftly exits the crime scene.

From a dark corner in the room, Minami has come to her own conclusion. _Shizuru-san is without a doubt the one wearing the pants in their relationship._

TBC.

----omake begins----

Kenta and Jun have stepped out of the lingerie shop, finally realizing that waiting for the girls while being surrounded by tons of racy outfits is utterly unnecessary.

Kenta: Bro, you wanna walk around for an hour?

Jun: Sure. (exasperated sigh) Just don't get too close to me. I don't want people to think that we are related.

Demon horns rise up from Kenta's fiery red locks.

Kenta: Honey, why are you being so shy in public? (jumps on his brother's back)

Jun: Ahhhhh, get off me! (flails his arms like a headless chicken)

All the bystanders begin whispering in each other's ears … well, except one …

Haruka: (takes out her custom made bullhorn) Stop this display of impure homosexual desire at once! Have you no spam?

Dead silence.

In the sky, a crow flies by while chanting "baka, baka".

Yukino: Haruka-chan, it's actually …

Jun: You mean shame? Lady, you got serious speech problems.

Haruka: (flustered) That's none of your … Yukino?

Yukino creeps up to the brothers with her head dipped down. Though no one can see her expression, the eerie dark clouds wrapped around the small framed woman is enough to send shivers down one's spine.

Out of survival instinct, Kenta jumps off his brother and backs away with the speed of a frightened gazelle.

Jun: (quivers in discomfort) What do you want?

Yukino grabs him with all her might and body-slams him into the ground with a judo two-handed shoulder throw.

Yukino: YOU STOLE MY LINE!!!

----omake ends----


	12. Photo Shoot II

**Title**: Roommates Diary II - Double Date In Hell (Part XII)  
**Author**: ficeler37  
**Note**: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.  
**Rating**: R  
**Word count**: 2295

**Summary**: The question is - how much skin can you make Natsuki show?

**A/N**** 1**: Lesson number 1 – Never make promises you can't keep. Very near future turns out to be one month and sixteen days. But I hope the length and content of the chapter will make up for the long wait. I'm honored to see so many reviews. In order not to crowd the story, I'll post a separate review in order to reply to most of the readers who reviewed. To those in college, it's midterm season, so good luck with your exams!

**A/N 2**: Disclaimer: I don't work for a credit card company. Don't get it? Wait till you finish reading this chapter.

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The photo shoot has finally reached its climax point. In between Shizuru walking in and out of the changing room, the story of the soldier and the temptress has progressed from one-sided longing, to timid stolen glances, to mutual appreciation. It is time to create the catalogue backcover that illustrates the ending of this romantic fable where the main characters abandon all inhibitions and let their desire take the rein.

"Somebody push the leather sofa to the center!" Armani is busy playing around with his treasured camera as he barks out commands. His head is bent low like a mad scientist conducting a deadly experiment. "Kuga-san, I would need you to remove some of your clothing for this final photo."

"By some, you mean?" Skeptical glare.

"Down to those high quality boxers that you changed into, please. Next I need you to lie down on your stomach on the sofa." Still not looking up.

"First my bra, now my wife-beater and my baggy jeans? Even Shizuru has more fabric to cover her body!"

"But if you were to pick who has the highest average surface area of skin shown in each photo, Fujino-san still beats you by a mile."

"Argh, screw the math! I'm not some porn star, period."

"Kuga-san, let me reassure you that the only thing the readers see will be your bare back and nothing more. Just so you know, I have already modified the models' postures to keep you from being too exposed. From the concept meeting, the female model was supposed to straddle the male model by the waist while she caresses him on the chest as he lies comfortably on the sofa. Would you prefer me to ask Fujino-san to sit on your stomach and massage your breasts?" Armani turns his head and calls out towards the dressing room. "FUJINO-SAN!"

"I heard my name. Were you two talking trash about me behind my back?" With an intricately embroidered red lace bra and matching mini g-string, Shizuru narrows her eyes jokingly as she walks towards the bickering duo.

"Shizuru! No no no, you got it all wrong. We were uhm …" _Oh … wow … LOOK UP! LOOK UP! Her face is the center of the universe!_

"Ah, Fujino-san. This ensemble looks lovely on you. I was just asking Kuga-san if she would prefer …"

"Ahhhhhhh." In a moment of panic, Natsuki unzips in a flash and jumps out of her jeans.

Everyone in the room stops in their tracks, drawn simultaneously to the impromptu strip show.

"Ants in my pants?" _What kind of pathetic excuse is that? Even Doctor Seuss won't approve! _"C'mon, we don't have time to mess around. Shizuru, get into position."

"Ara, am I missing something? What position?" The way Shizuru stares at the younger girl's boxers-look mirrors Columbus's excitement when he discovered America. _As soon as this stupid double date is over, we are heading over to the closest department store to stock up some boxers. This is beyond hotness!_

"Just come sit on me."

"Oh …" _She wants me. She wants me. She wants me …_

While Shizuru is zoning out like an overheated robot, Natsuki grabs her by the wrist and pulls her towards the fancy couch. _No time to waste. I can't risk reverting back to our previous conversation topic. _Within seconds, the blue haired girl is already lying on her stomach on the sofa, secretly enjoying the cool smooth feeling of leather on her long naked legs.

Inches away from the sexiest woman alive (in her humble opinion), Shizuru stands still, her thundering heartbeats drowning out her thoughts. _Sure we've had our fair share of physical contact, but most of the time, it's either on my initiative or it's an innocent accident, but this … Natsuki's open invitation to be in such a provocative pose … what if it gets a little too warm down there? With my lacy mini g-string, will Natsuki be able to … _Unholy thoughts ravage Shizuru's mind like an unstoppable whirlpool.

"Shizuru?" When the expected pressure on her back never came, Natsuki buries her face between her forearms in embarrassment as she whispers harshly to the immobile Kyoto woman. "Straddle me on the back already. I can feel goosebumps on my legs."

All layers of mental restraints that tame the beast within Shizuru are instantly dismantled. _There is no turning back. _"Natsuki is so eager to let me ride you like a pony, ho ho." Taking her time in order to savor every brush between their skins, she swings her legs over to the far side of the sofa and lowers herself just above Natsuki's firm buttocks.

"Argh." Natsuki resists the urge to hit her best friend with the back of her heel. _Let's just get this over with quickly._

_And there I thought Kuga-san was a prude. What a pleasant surprise! I was going to ask Shizuru-san to sit on the sofa. But this is even better._

"What are you waiting for, Armani? Just take the goddamn photo already." Natsuki has no intention to hide the annoyance in her speech.

"How can I snap the picture when one of the models is not even ready?"

_What is it now? _Natsuki twists her head to scan Shizuru from head to hips, trying to locate clues as to why her best friend is not ready. _Looks mighty fine to me. _In confusion, she turns her attention to Armani who is pulling on his shirt like he is trying to test out its nonexistent elasticity. _Shit …_

"Natsuki, did Mr. Armani ask you to be …" _TOPLESS??? Must … think … unsexy … thoughts … Tadpole, tadpole, tadpole, nipple … STOP!_

"No way, Armani. This is as far as I'll go. I'm not taking my shirt off." Natsuki is alarmed to see Armani rolling up his sleeves. "You come near me with your filthy hands and I'll chew them right off." To reinforce her threat, she gives him a menacing smile which shows off her naturally sharp canine teeth.

"Now now, let's talk like the civil people that we are before we resolve to a barbaric fist fight. I'm willing to compromise. How about we just lift up the back of your top a little? No harm done, right?" _Let's see you chew off the hands of … _"Fujino-san, would you mind pushing the offending article up just a couple inches?"

Normally Shizuru will not do something so intimate without Natsuki's consent, but with her distracted state of mind, she finds her hands moving by their own will.

"I haven't even said …" The tingling sensation on her lower back halts her sentence. Involuntarily, Natsuki closes her eyes.

With painfully slow speed, Shizuru pushes her fingers underneath white cotton, catching the inner seam with her elegant knuckles. As she massages Natsuki's spine with the skills that will make the most handsomely paid massage therapist cry in shame, more and more of Natsuki's dangerously soft skin is revealed.

Cold fingers, was Natsuki's first thought. _So cold that they burn …_ With each feather-light touch, her body temperature rises a few degrees. The blue haired girl wants to scream, but there is a communication breakdown between her mind and her body. The only movement of which she is capable is to shiver beneath the temptress's magical strokes.

_While Kuga-san is in heaven, perhaps I can push the envelope a bit more … _Armani closes one eye and watches closely through the camera lens. With his index finger hovering above the shutter release, he speaks quietly to the girls who are completely engrossed in each other."The temptress shall bend down and worship the body beneath her with a kiss."

Shizuru looks down at the flawless skin of the girl she loves. Her head feels heavy. Something is pulling her down. She wonders if the sofa is on top of a mystery spot where gravity goes haywire. She sees more and more of chestnut-colored tresses resting on sweet innocent skin. Her lips, so close to the younger girl's body that if she extends her tongue, she can have a taste of her tiny goosebumps. Right now, she has no doubt that Natsuki can feel her hot breath.

Everyone in the room has made an unspoken agreement to stop breathing. All eyes are on the center of the room, on the two models that demand every bit of one's attention.

"Mr. Armani, please take your photo now." The spell of silence is broken by a graceful Kyoto-ben.

The photographer exclaims in frustration, "But what about the kiss?"

Shizuru's voice comes out like a layer of thin ice covering boiling and bubbling magma. "You seem to have confused Natsuki and me with women in the adult film industry. There are things that I prefer to do behind closed doors, and certainly not in the mist of strangers with cameras."

Snap. Snap. Snap.

That concludes the photo shoot session.

As soon as Armani exits the establishment with his assistants, he spots a black van with no license plate dashing towards him. Naturally he drops all his belongings on the floor while ducking for safety. Luckily for him, the black van slams on its break a few feet away from the fashion guru. The door of the van slides open and an outstretched arm snatches Armani's man bag from the ground. In true mafia film fashion, the van makes a hasty exit as more pedestrians jump out of its way.

"They took my camera and the film inside! Vaffanculo!" Stomp, stomp, stomp – gorilla style.

Immediately, the dutiful assistants use every trick up their sleeves to try to calm down their emotional boss. As if on cue, Minami, Shizuru and Natsuki walk out of the lingerie shop to check out the commotion. The frantic voices that follow can best be described as a diarrhea of the verbal kind.

"This is not happening. I'm just having a bad dream. That's right? I'm dreaming. Ha … ha … ha …" The color slowly drains away in Minami's vision as she stares up in the sky.

To be frank, Natsuki is actually relieved to learn that the photographer can no longer develop pictures of her half naked. She furrows her brows forcefully and bites hard on her lower lip, trying to stop herself from grinning in joy.

_So easy to read … _Shizuru chuckles softly to herself. She shakes her head and whispers to her object of affection. "I wonder if we'll become instant celebrities on the internet if the thieves decide to develop the film and post our pictures online."

Natsuki feels like a group of vultures just took turns dumping feces on her head. "Shizuru, you wait for me here. I'm going to run after those bastards."

Before Natsuki can take her first step, Shizuru has already wrapped her arms around the younger girl's waist. "Hold still, tiger." Putting on her serious face, the heiress to the Fujino Empire straightens herself and clears her throat. "Everyone, I have a proposition."

What ensues is a series of solutions: Family friends who own a publishing firm and a print shop and are able to speed up the printing of the lingerie catalog; The international Fujino Shizuru fan club members who will do part-time modeling for free; Airline VIP connection that can upgrade Armani's flight to first class. You name it, Shizuru can get it.

At the end of the ordeal, nobody is going home crying or color-blind. Birds are chirping. Planes are flying. Superman is … well, nowhere to be seen. What more can one ask for?

TBC.

----omake begins----

Shizuru and Natsuki have left the lingerie shop and just bought some refreshing drinks from a nearby concession stand, waiting for the Eto brothers to return.

Natsuki: Why do I have the feeling that you are the mastermind behind the attack?

Shizuru: Ara, did I leave behind too many clues?

Natsuki: You took a bathroom break in the middle of the photo shoot. That was pretty suspicious. I mean, you already went once at the theatre. How small is your bladder?

Shizuru: (pout) That's no fun. I was hoping you would say something like … (dramatic pause) … it's only logical to have a sexy villainess behind every passionate crime.

Natsuki: Like hell I'd be thinking about that!

Shizuru: (sniff sniff) So you think I'm not sexy?

Natsuki: (panic mode) I didn't say that!

Shizuru: Then you think I'm super sexy? (raised eyebrow)

Natsuki: (blush) What do you want me to say?

Shizuru: I'll take that as a yes. (cheeky smile)

Natsuki: Whatever … so you got the loot? (hopeful eyes)

Shizuru: (seductive voice) How much are you willing to pay for the pictures?

Natsuki: The size of your wallet is already like Doraemon's fourth-dimensional pocket! Are you serious?

Shizuru: Not at all. (sticks out tongue) There are some things money can't buy.

Natsuki: And for everything else, there is Mastercard. (reaches into her pocket and pulls out a credit card)

Shizuru: Ooooo, I'm scared. Are you threatening to papercut me to death with the dull side of your credit card?

Natsuki: Actually, I was thinking about … (saunters over with an innocent smile) … THIS!

Shizuru: Hahahaha! Not … fair … (rapid breathing)

Who knew? A mere Mastercard can tickle Fujino Shizuru's funny bone. Of course, this is only possible when the attacker is Kuga Natsuki, possessor of Xena-level strength and insider information about the Fujino ticklish spots, who is able to bind Shizuru's arms with a single grip while using a credit card to make contact with her prisoner's skin strategically.

Monthly access to high speed internet: $50.

Picturing Shizuru and Natsuki living the life that they love and loving the life that they live: Priceless.

----omake ends----


End file.
